MAN! I Feel Like a Woman
by Snark-N-Moon
Summary: A magical night with Darkwing goes sour, as Morgana Macawber's date gets ruined by a certain demented duo. After saying a few things that makes her anger worse, she teaches them a lesson then won't soon forget.  Genderbend- Quackerjack/Megavolt
1. The Decent of Man

DISCLAIMER: The authors do not own DARKWING DUCK or its characters. Everything is nonprofit, done for fun. All depictions of real people (living or dead) or situations are merely all coincidental. No real magic was used in the making of this story. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave a comment. If luck be a lady tonight, leave a comment.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Man! I Feel Like a Woman

by: Snark & Moonie

Women are said to be complicated creatures. Beings ruled by emotions, instead of on pure logic like the men folk. They judged by the heart, instead of by the facts. Happy go lucky one moment, and teary eyed the next. Everything was the man's fault, and never their own. Just look at another gal, and you'd be in the dog house for weeks. They needed to be constantly reminded of how beautiful they are, and how much you still adore them. They're needy by nature, you know. All this trouble and you still wonder why you even care at all and don't just give up on the skirts. But as they say, can't live with them…can't live without them.

Of course, these were all just awful stereotypes of the normal female back in the early days. Actually say any of this to a well educated woman…

And may the goddess have pity on your soul.

It was a clear night; Saint Canard's cemetery getting a great view of the stars, even with its low fog. Morgana Macawber looked loving into her boyfriend's eyes. She had, yet again, prepared a lovely dinner date for the city's true vigilante and over all good guy: Darkwing Duck. It had been a busy month for the crime fighter, so the two hadn't had much private time together. Knowing this, the slender duck prepared some of her best courses. Zombie liver flambéed, with chopped up onions and garlic; deadly nightshade salad with blackberries, topped with honey toad wart dressing; a bottle of the best pumpkin wine; and for dessert….

Well, it was a surprise. But Morgana knew it was to DIE for!

"Dark, darling, would you like more wine? You seem absolutely anxious. What's wrong, dear?"

Darkwing poked at the pale, slimy glob on his plate, and he felt his stomach lurch as it squirmed. He knew that if he continued to look at it, he'd be sick; if he was forced to eat it, he'd probably be dead.

The masked crime fighter tore his eyes from the ghastly meal in front of him, and turned his gaze to Morgana, instead. The look on her face told him she was waiting for an answer, and he knew he'd have to tell another one of his lies. He'd always been pretty good at lying. He tugged at the collar of his turtleneck, as he felt his body temperature rise a few degrees. "Eh heh heh... nothing's wrong, Morgana, my sweet Angel of the night!" he reassured, topping off the lie with a big cheesy grin.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't the best liar, but so what? Lying was what villains did. He was an upstanding, law-abiding, justice seeking hero! He swore he heard his dinner squeal, and pushed the plate away. He saw the look on Morgana's face and instantly knew that hadn't been the best idea. "Uhh, you know what, Morg, honey, sugarbunch? Not that I don't find your food, uh..." he eyed the Deadly Nightshade salad as a beetle poked its head out from between two stems and went scurrying across the table. "... unique, eh heh. But I'd MUCH rather spend tonight looking into your gorgeous eyes. I mean, HOW am I supposed to concentrate on food, when I'm in the presence of such a breath-taking woman, such as yourself?" he explained hastily, grabbing both of her hands from across the table, gently. And this at least was no lie. Darkwing Duck had been smitten by the mysterious woman's beauty and dark flair from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

At first the witch had felt hurt when her beloved pushed her hard work away from himself, insulting her cooking. She took it as a personal insult. Sad feelings were quick to turn towards ones of anger, and she had glared dagger as Darkwing dug himself into his own grave.

After hearing his explanation, however, all anger washed away. As if a cold rain had cleaned away the fire. Her eyes became half-lidded, as she felt herself being smitten by his words. "Oh, honey wumpus, do you really mean it? You sure know how to make a ghoul blush."

It was moments like these that she was glad to have their rare moments alone together. While Morgana loved both Launchpad and Gosalyn, it was just nice for the two lovebirds to wade through their bliss as just a couple. A pair. Him and her. She then smiled as she thought of how kind it was of the pilot to offer to watch the spirited girl while they went on their date.

Darkwing nodded and looked deep into her eyes, losing himself in the way the moonlight reflected in them like crystal. "Every word, my Mesmerizing Mistress" he cooed back. Morgana giggled. Darkwing was intent on continuing his wooing. "Oh, my beautiful, beautiful Morgana... when I look into your eyes, I ... is, is that the Ratcatcher?" the caped crusader abruptly let go of Morgana's hands, and cocked his head to listen closer. "It is! That IS the Ratcatcher! I'd know that sound anywhere! What's Launchpad doing here so early; I told him midnight!" By this time, Darkwing was standing on the seat of his chair, facing out toward the dirt road that led into the cemetery, momentarily forgetting about the date currently in progress.

The Macawber woman's hypnotic lovesick trance was irrupted instantly, when the daring duck of mystery's words quickly shift gears. The magic spell he hand on her ended at the same time he lost focus.

It was safe to say, she was not pleased.

"I DO believe you need to get your friend a new watch," Morgana said in a huff. However, remembering that he was also watching Drake's daughter, she felt bad for feeling so irritated. What if something bad had happened to little Gosalyn?  
>"I hope nothing terrible happened to her, " she mumbled to herself. Yet, she was quick to see this was not so, when the vehicle was close enough to see the passengers. It WAS the Ratcatcher. And it seemed both red heads were right as rain. This not only caused her anger to begin to boil once more, but it made her dreadfully confused.<p>

Once they motorcycle stopped, she voiced her question:  
>"What is the meaning on this? Why are you so early?"<br>"Yeah! What gives, Launchpad! I told you midnight!" Darkwing added.

As the Ratcatcher skidded to a stop mere inches away from crashing into their table, Launchpad tore off his helmet and that was then both Darkwing and Morgana noticed the panicked look on the pilot's face.

"Darkwing! Sorry to interrupt your date, but it's Quackerjack! And Megavolt! There were lights, and then a meagphone, and CORN dogs! Oh the horror! I'd never SEEN so many corn dogs stuffed into a single place at once, in all my life!" it was obvious Launchpad was still running on adrenaline from earlier.

Darkwing cocked an eyebrow, looking at them, unimpressed with the explanation he was given. "Pardon me?"

Gosalyn gave an irritated growl from behind Launchpad, hopping out of the side car and removing her own helmet as she stomped over to her father. "What he's TRYING to say, is Megavolt and Quackerjack are at the fair, causing all KINDS of trouble! So YOU need to get over there and kick some major bad-guy butt before it's too late!" the little red head recited enthusiastically.  
>"That's what I said!" insisted Launchpad.<p>

Darkwing went rigid, his eyes wide.

"Too late? You mean before they completely destroy the whole fair, causing millions in property damage and putting countless innocent lives in danger?" cried Darkwing. Gos rolled her eyes and scoffed. "NO, dad, before the fair closes and I can't ride the rides anymore! DUH."

Darkwing folded his arms over his chest and gave his daughter a stern look. "We're going to have a serious talk about your priorities when we get home, young lady." he replied simply. Gosalyn slumped. "But daaad! You don't understand! I've only gotten to ride the Boooone Masher twelve times tonight! How am I gonna set the world record for the most consecutive rides without barfing at this rate!" she stressed. Darkwing shook his head.

"No time for any of that now! I have to put an END to Quackerjack and Megavolt's reign of toy-tasering terror!" Darkwing declared, jumping off of his chair and hopping onto his motor bike.

Suddenly he remembered Morgana. She was sitting in her chair, slumped over the table, a foul look on her face, her left elbow resting on the table, her head in her hand, glaring at her plate as she absentmindedly poked at it with her fork. Darkwing cleared his throat.

"A-hem. I'm so sorry, Morgana. I promise I'll make it up to you, my Midnight Princess! Please forgive me, smooch, smooch, Iloveyousomuchgottagobye!" and with that, he spun the Ratcatcher around sharply, failing to notice as the back tire spun a clod of graveyard sod into Morgana's face and lap.

The witch growled dangerously as she wiped away the filth from her face. She sneered.  
>"Well, Morgana, you caught yourself quite a real catch." Her words were loaded with heavy sarcasm. The tall woman then sighed to herself, as she looked to her perfect dinner that was now perfectly ruined. At that moment, her familiars Eek, Squeek, and Archie crawled out from her hair. The two bats flapped soothingly next to her face, as the large spider rubbed Morgana's fingers in comfort. She smiled at them all sadly.<p>

"Thank you dears, but I'll be all right. He doesn't mean it when it comes to this, you know." The witch then looked at the table again. "Come, boys, lets start cleaning up, shall we?"

Meanwhile, while Morgana's special date had ended; the demented duo's was still going strong. They laughed happily and evilly as others ran screaming around them. Quackerjack was munching on his corndog, while the rodent's arms were full of all the prizes the mad mallard had "won". The two passed a dunk booth, when the toymaker abruptly stopped in his tracks.

The guy, currently trapped in the dunk booth, looked as if he was about to wet his pants.  
>"Ooo Ooo, I wanna play this one! Betcha I can get this guy wet with a flamethrower, Megsy."<p>

Megavolt shifted the load of stuffed animals in his arms so he could see what Quackerjack was talking about, and a stuffed panda fell out of his grasp and landed on the ground with a soft 'squeak'. The rodent gave a wicked grin when he saw the terrified carny inside the dunking booth. "Oh yeah? You're on!" he coaxed. He had no doubt that Quackerjack could do it; he just wanted to see it.

Finishing up his corndog, the crazed toymaker threw his stick to the ground. Still wearing his smeary accidental mustard mustache, Quackerjack brought his hands behind his back. His hat jingled violently as he suddenly turned; a large super soaker looking devise was in his hands. He giggled madly as he raised the gun in the air for a moment, triumphantly. "Weeeeeell, heh, if you INSIST! Hehe!"

Aiming the gun at the bulls-eye, the clown smirked as the fair worker began to scream in terror. Begging Quackerjack to let him go. The jester's tongue darted past his bill, as he continued to concentrate; the carnie feared the worst. Finally, the duck fired.

And real flames shot out.

The trail of fire went on for awhile, seeming as if it would never end. However, the metal started to get to hot that it began to melt. When it fell to the ground, a messy pile of metal, the guy in the dunk booth screamed as he fell into the chilly water. He was a-okay.

Quackerjack and Megavolt, however, were busy laughing their heads off. Still chortling madly, the duck went up to where the prizes were, grabbing a single little goldfish. "Hehehe! See that, lil' guy? Wasn't it a RIOT? Hehehe!' the fish remained silent. "I think I'm gonna call you Goldy the Thousandth….Don't ask what happened to the other Goldies. Heh."

The villainous duo were about to turn away and head off to their next destination, when a familiar hissing sound stopped them in their tracks, a wave of fear washing over both of them. They spun around just in time to see thick blue smoke rise up from the ground and spread. Quackerjack gasped, Megavolt squawked in surprise and dropped the arm full of plush. Goldie continued to be a fish in a little plastic bag.

"I am the Terror, that FLAPS in the night! I, am the height requirement chart that is just over your reach! I am Darkwing Duck! And boy, do YOU two have the WORST timing."

Instead of letting the smoke clear, leaving him standing in a heroic pose like usual, Darkwing stomped out of his cloud and stood before the two trouble makers, arms folded over his chest, foot tapping on the ground, clearly irritated.

Both Megavolt and Quackerjack looked around in confusion, before glancing at each other and shrugging, indicating neither of them knew what Darkwing was talking about.

Darkwing rolled his eyes and sighed. "Oh, you two bozos wouldn't understand. No matter! Suck gas, evil doers!" and with that, the masked mallard whipped out his gas gun, pointed it at the villains, and pulled the trigger.

The gas canister shot out at the same time Megavolt shot out a blast of electricity, and the two collided, causing the canister to explode, engulfing all of them in a cloud of choking smoke.

Mad coughing fits were fired left and right. Both sides gagging violently on the colorful smoke. The masked mallard acted fast, however, using his buzzsaw cuffs to clear away the gas. Once cleared, the two red heads, the demented rat, and the daring duck of mystery could all be seen. Yet, Gosalyn was the first to notice that something was off.  
>"Say…where's Chuckles?"<p>

"Yoo-hoo! Up here, kiddies!"  
>"Woah," cried the clumsy pilot, " you guys might want to look out! He's fully loaded!"<br>They all looked to where the mad mallard was. During the confusion, Quackerjack had escaped to higher ground. He was standing on top of the dunking booth, aiming his flamethrower at our beloved heroes. "My turn! Heh. Suck MY gas, party poopers!"

Darkwing grabbed Gosalyn as he and LP dived out of the flames way.  
>"Hehe! Did I say 'gas?' I meant to say 'fire of death.' Haha! Whoops. Honest mistake. Hehehe!"<p>

Darkwing recovered quickly, sneering up at the crazed toy maker. His pal Megavolt had joined him, but opted to stay on the ground, away from the electrical hazard. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with fire, you demented circus reject?" chided the masked mallard, once again aiming his gun, this time only at the maniac wielding the flamethrower. He pulled the trigger again, but managed to make contact this time around, as it collided with the jester's stomach.

Quackerjack "oofed", instantly losing his balance. The bells on his hat jingled violently as the duck began to fall. It only took a fraction of a second, before the clown hit the water with a loud SPLASH!

Just as Darkwing had planned, the water from the impact sent a wave of water crashing down on top of Megavolt, causing him to shriek in pain and spasm violently as he was shorted out. After all electrical charge had been expelled from his body, he stood there shakily, a dazed expression on his face. "That... was painful." he pointed out, before collapsing to the ground in a smoking heap.

"Whoo-hoo! Go Darkwing!" cried Gosalyn.  
>"Nice job DW, you got 'em BOTH!" added Launchpad. Darkwing dusted his shirt off and smirked smugly.<br>"Yeep yep yep. It was nothing for the Daring Duck of Mystery!" he looked around the now-deserted park. "I just wish there had been someone around to see it. Oh well."

While they were busy gloating over their victory, Quackerjack had been busy climbing out of the tank. Once out, he started wringing out his hat, still on his head, as if they were strands of hair.  
>"I guess I'M the wet blanket now, huh?" he mumbled grumpily to himself. Seeing Megavolt passed out on the ground, he began to sneak his way towards him. Once he got there, he shook the rodent awake.<br>"Psssst, Megs. Meeegs. If we don't want our date to be a TOTAL bust, we might wanna skedaddle. Wake up, sleeping beauty!"

Megavolt stirred and pushed himself up weakly, rubbing his aching head. "Hunh?" he glanced over to the preoccupied heroes. "Oh."

Quackerjack helped his friend to his feet, and they crept away as quietly as they could.  
>Although, the demented duck couldn't help his impulses of uttering "sneak, sneak, sneak," as they sneaked away. As soon as they were far enough away, they broke into a sprint and then finally a full out run. Even if Darkwing was a good distance behind them already, they weren't taking any chances on being caught.<p>

Quackerjack, being more fit and used to running for long distances, was a few paces ahead of Megavolt, who was more accustomed to skating along power lines or slinking through shadows.

The electrically discharged villain suddenly realized he wasn't sure where they were running to, exactly. He'd always just followed Quackerjack's lead, for the most part, so he really hoped the crazy duck had a clue what their destination was. "Quackerjack, where are we going?" he whined, already panting heavily.

Actually…That was a VERY good question. In all seriousness, the mad mallard had just chosen a random direction and ran. Anywhere far away from Darkwing, and from the police, was good to him. He stopped for a moment, to look at the nearest street sign. Portabello Road. The clown knew this was the opposite direction of where their lairs were…But it was also the opposite direction of where the do-gooder would expect them to go. Heck, maybe they should just find a place to play hide-n-seek for a while, until they could go home.

That was when Quackerjack noticed the trail to the graveyard, and pointed in that direction. "Ooooh, we should hide there!"

Megavolt was thankful that the jester had stopped for awhile, but as he stood there trying to catch his breath, he couldn't see what Quackerjack was talking about. "What? There where?" Suddenly realization dawned on him and he groaned. "Quackerjaaaack, please don't tell me you mean the graveyard." he whined. Graveyards were enough to give anyone the creeps, and even doubly so at night.

"Yeeeees, I mean the graveyard. Think about it. Nobody in their right minds would go in there at night…thus, it's PERFECT for us! Hehe! Besides, mister scaredy pants, it'll only be for a little bit. Then we can go home and finish our playdate." He waggled his eyebrows flirtatiously.

The rodent felt his face grow hot and quickly looked away, down the road again, towards the graveyard. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Well..."

At that moment there was the sound of an engine in the distance that may or may not have been the Ratcatcher, and the decision was made. Megavolt jumped, grabbed one of the jester's colorful sleeves, and began tugging him in the direction of the graveyard. "Okay, hurry up already! Let's go!"

Quackerjack being dragged away quickly turned into the drag-ee being the dragger. Soon he was ahead, as he giggled and pulled Megavolt along. By his reaction, you'd expect that that the duck was going through and enchanted forest, not a yard full of dead people.

Not seeing where he was going, the toymaker ended up face-planting into a tree. Quackerjack yelp loudly.

Loud enough that a certain witch heard the ruckus, not too far off. Morgana gasped. "Oh my! What could have made that dreadful noise? I'm not used to any visitors, but myself, traveling here this late at night."

Eek chattered on inaudibly. The Macawber woman, however, was able to understand every squeak. "Maybe you're right! Dark probably finished with his work early, and came back to finish our romantic evening together. Oh! And to apologize, of course!"

She started to run towards the direction the sound was heard. "Darkwing, you came- ooooh!"

What Morgana was faced with was not her darling Darkwing at all, but the two villains that had taken him away from her that night; the demented duo, Megavolt and Quackerjack.

The duck was currently trying to bend his sizable bill back into shape after presumably running into the thick trunk of a large tree standing a foot away. His electrical pal as snickering from behind one gloved hand.

All of a sudden, Megavolt looked up and spotted her, a look of mild shock coming over his face. He tapped Quackerjack on the shoulder. "Uh, Quacky? We have company!"

Morgana glared, as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, if it isn't YOU two. I can't say I'm very pleased at you two, right now."

Quackerjack finally fixed his beak, rubbing it to get the pain away. A moment later, he finally noticed the beautiful witch. "Oh, hey, it's whatsherface. He who yaps in the night's giiiiirlfriend." The jester stuck his tongue out in disgust, as if the very word put an awful taste in his mouth. "Yuck, we seem to be running into a lot of fuddy duddies tonight. Scram, lady, we're hiding. We had this spot first!"

"Oh reeeeally?" the woman's anger started to rise again. "I happen to know this is very much false. You and Megavolt here were off at the fair causing trouble."

Quackerjack raised a brow, "You're psychic or something? Ooo ooo! Tell me what I'm thinking of? I'll give you a hint, it's not pumpernickel! Hehe!" The joker's joking seemed to only make her temper flair more. "No, I'm NOT psychic. I just happen to know, because Darkwing had to interrupt our DATE to go stop you two from causing property damage!"

"Pfft! Dorkwing seems to be good at interrupting playtime. Heh. Did the same thing to us, ya know. Really, lady, you got bad taste in men. Hahaha!"

Megavolt lightened up and smiled, caught up in Quackerjack's delightfully mean teasing. " I don't knooow... they seem like a perfect pair, if you ask me! A crime fighter who can't catch crooks, and a women who can't cook!" he said, laughing insanely at his own bad joke.

"Hahaha! Now now, we can't blame her for that. Heh. How the heck is she supposed to learn to cook, if her man doesn't keep her chained to the stove? Darkwing doesn't have a good leash on her, if he keeps letting the lady leave the house. Hehe!"

By this time they were both laughing at Morgana's expense, and neither of them had any intension to quit any time soon. "I'm surprised she ever manages to leave the house anyway." said Megavolt. "Oh, just a minute, Darkwing, I just need to put another ton of hairspray in my hair." he added, in a terrible impersonation of a woman's voice. "Oops, mood swing, watch out for flying objects."

"You didn't tell me I'm pretty today! You're OBVIOUSLY cheating on me! Hehe! "

Morgana stood there fuming like the likes she never had before. Each mock and insult flaming her inner fire. As the two men continued, the witch's eyes began to spark with dangerous tension. The actual clouds and weather changed around them. The clear sky darkened, and thunder roared. Lightening shot down like bullets, as Morgana Macawber rose into the air. The scary woman was six feet off the ground, before her voiced boomed like the thunder.

"How DARE you!"

The villains' laughter was cut short, and they stood and stared in awe and terror as the enraged witch glared down at them, bolts of lightning crashing into the ground, sending up clouds of dirt all around them. Megavolt and Quackerjack instinctively grabbed onto each other in a hug that would have been sweet, had it not been for their terror-stricken expressions. "Uh-oh." Megavolt squeaked. Maybe ticking off a a powerful magic-wielding, mood-swinging witch hadn't been the best idea.

Morgana continued with her rage:

"You insulted my looks. You insulted my beloved Darkwing. You RUINED my perfect evening…And NOW you discriminate against all women TO a woman? Ooooh, I'm so mad I could…I could…Oooooh!"

She pulled on her hair in frustration; the witchy hive throwing itself out of its neatness. It twirled all around her, her curls a tangled mess of wild ebony. Her true monstrous form displayed in her anger.

Lightning struck from the sky once more, before Morgana started waving her fingers towards the dangerous heavens.  
>"Treguna…Mekoides…Trecorum…SATIS DEE!"<p>

The skies roared once more, as a red mist shot from the witch's fingers. It traveled to the two demented villains swiftly, surrounding them with the colorful smoke. They choked on it violently. Quackerjack started fanning it away, as Morgana began floating softly back down to earth. "THERE! That should do it!"

The clown glared in annoyance. "You sprayed us with your bad perfume? " he stopped to cough. "Sheesh, now we can add bad tastes in odors to your growing list too. Heh. "

Megavolt went through a sneezing fit, each one powerful enough to send him jumping off the ground. When they'd died down, he rubbed his nose with a finger. "Oh, yeah, thanks; that did WONDERS for my sinuses." he growled sarcastically at Morgana, his voice sounding even more nasally than it had been before.

The beautiful magical mistress' smug expression faltered some, as the villain's expressed their annoyance. She said nothing, however, as they continued to prattle on.

"Ugh! This is gonna take TONS of baths of Old Spice to get this stench out. Come on Megsy, let's go before she makes us smell more flowery than Bushy next."

As they turned to walk back to Megavolt's apartment hideout, the lair closest to them, they continued to complain. As Morgana saw them walk away, soon gone all together, her smile returned. Archie climbed up her dress, soon resting on the witch's shoulder. Morgana pet the spider, as her trusted bats fluttered in anger. They too not liking all that the villains had said.

"There there, my dears, it'll be all right. They'll get their just desserts. Come tomorrow morning, they'll see that my smell was more than a floral aroma annoyance. They think so little of women, ay? Soon they'll see what it's REALLY like."

Little did Quackerjack and Megavolt know, their misadventure had just begun…

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN:

Snark: Is this the part where we reassure that we're women, and don't actually believe these sexist comments?

Moonie: Aww, I was kind of looking forward to the angry mob of women :(

Snark: Well, the ladies ARE rather sexy when they get out their claws. Mmmm~

Moonie: But I don't like stinky perfume, so I guess we can apologize. We're towies. We don't believe the things we've... typed.

Snark: I also want to say that the characters don't actually believe these things either. Quacky hates old fashioned and overly conservative stereotypes. He and Megs are…Well, to put it bluntly, assholes. Yes, they can have good qualities. But it's kind of a villain thing to push buttons. Doubly so if they think they'll get an amusing reaction. Daww, what delightful scamps.

Moonie: Yeah, what she said. They're just eeeviiil, wooOOOooo. Not chauvinistic pigs. Usually. I think.

Snark: Gotta protect my homies, DAWG. By the way, you write a great Darkwing…and Launchpad…And Gosalyn….And Megavolt…what the heck DID I do? LOL. I almost feel bad that you took up most of the slack for this. I'm sorry, wifey.

Moonie: Nonsense. You write a perfect Quacky and Morg. Besides, it's not your fault I tend to get carried away when I write and write way too much. I'm towies.

Snark: Yes, totally your fault for writing genius. How DARE you!

Moonie: Don't get lippy with me, young lady. I'll go get the spray bottle.

Snark: …We're talking about the one we use for foreplay, and not the one full of bleach, riiiiight? Because even I don't think I can find you hot while you're poisoning me.

Moonie: But poison is the best kind of love! ... we should probably wrap this up.

Snark: Must we? I like boring people with our ramblings they don't even read….fiiiine…"Buhahaha! We have evil plans to come! Seeeecret evil plans!" There, sexy times now?

Moonie: I thought you'd never ask 3

Snark: And with that, we be off! Double dildo, hoooooooo!


	2. Big Breasts and Horror Fests

Morning came early for two slumbering individuals, holed up in a semi-rundown apartment building in the bad side of town. The bright sunlight streamed through a grimy window and right into the face of Megavolt, who was sprawled out over a untidy, sagging bed. The nights had been unbearably warm in St. Canard the past week, so the rodent was clad in only a pair of boxers and an old under shirt.

Megavolt groaned in a half-asleep daze and turned over on his side. But unfortunately, the sun was still in his face and he'd lost his only curtain in an accidental outlet fire a month ago. He growled and gave up, pushing himself into a sitting position, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and then finally standing up. He pressed his hands against the lower part of his back until it popped, as was his morning ritual, then slumped forward again and reached back to scratch his butt.

He gave his head a quick shake. Man, was it hot in that small apartment. Not only that, but Megavolt felt terrible. His whole body ached and he felt like he hadn't slept at all the night before. Maybe he hadn't. Maybe he and Quackerjack had screwed all night? He tried to remember but couldn't.

Turning back around to face the bed, Megavolt stretched and yawned. He smiled. Quackerjack lay on his side in a fetal position, in nothing but an old t-shirt of Megavolt's. He breathed softly, as the rodent's tired eyes walked over his friend's curves, down his shapely, slender legs, and-

... And that was not Quackerjack in Megavolt's bed.

Megavolt's eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open as the realization hit him like a mac truck. There was a woman sleeping in his bed. A WOMAN!

The electrically charged villain's mind began to race. He tried desperately to remember the previous night's events. For any reason what-so-ever that just might validate a reason for having a women in his bed at that moment. But he was drawing a blank. He remembered a fair. He remembered Darkwing showing up, and then a grave yard. And there was a woman in the grave yard, wasn't there?

"Oh noooo..." he heard himself, or someone squeak, from far away.

Panic and despair overtook him as his hands clutched at the hair on the sides of his head and his knees came together. "WHAT HAVE I DOOOONE?"

The said mysterious woman shrieked, Megavolt's scream startling her awake. She jolted up, arms and limbs flying about, giving the rodent a good view of the woman's rear and tail feathers. (Seeing that the female duck had on no underwear seemed to only make the electrical villain feel like he was going to hurl from guilt.) The woman then fell out of the bed with a loud thud.

"Oooouch! That hurt!"

She then began climbing back up to her feet. Eyes closed as the duck was still getting used to the light. Once up, she rubbed her sore bottom. Again, more guilt settled in as Megavolt saw she was actually wearing HIS old "I HEART NERDS" t-shirt. (Oh, how Quackerjack would never forgive him for this! …even if he didn't actually recollect doing anything with the female. BUT OH THE SHAME!) The lady started to speak again.

"What was the big idea with all the screamin', Me-HOLY SNIPPING BALLS, Flying Ratman!" She had opened her eyes to see the rodent before her", Who the HECK are YOU?"

She looked around, grabbing the nearest thing the woman could find. The duck grabbed Larry, the nightstand lamp, off from its little table. She wielded it like a weapon.

Megavolt gasped. The situation had somehow gotten even worse as the life of one of his electrical comrades was put into danger. His overwhelming guilt was shoved onto the back burner for the time being, as anger overrode it. NO body threatened Megavolt, OR his liberated pals! His fists clenched in anger at his sides and began to spark sporadically. He clenched his teeth and glared back at the curvy feminine duck across from him. He glared at her small but firm rack, and her deliciously curvy hips, and her-

The rodent flushed a deep red and he shook his head to clear it. Right. Keep your eyes on her face. Her face. OH DEAR EDISON THAT'S NOT HER FACE.

"Unhand my pal, you... you, intruder! OR PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF M-" he stopped here to clear his throat loudly. Man that had not sounded nearly as threatening as he'd intended. There was something wrong with his voice, maybe he was coming down with a cold, or...

Oh no. Maybe all of Quackerjack's talk about cooties hadn't been just nonsense, after all. But if HE had ended up with cooties, then that meant...

Megavolt paled and the knot in his stomach returned. "Oh ... oh no... we... did I... did WE... Oh please tell me we didn't... I think I'm gonna hurl." and with that, the villain clutched his stomach, doubled over and let out a sick belch, as he sunk to his knees.

The female stuck out her tongue from disgust. Her protruding overbite biting down on it. "Sheesh. You're acting like ya never seen a guy before. Honestly, heh, your reaction is worse than something Megs would…."

Jingling was heard as she clinched her body, becoming stiff as a notion came to mind. The duck dropped the lamp, Larry breaking into pieces from the crash, as she jumped onto the bed and began to peek over the side. Her curiosity overpowering whatever trepidations she might have had. She looked down at the electrical rodent, as the woman raised a brow.

"…Megavolt?".

"Oh, you remember my name, good. Maybe you can remember what we-" at this moment Megavolt looked up into the woman's face. He stared dumbly for awhile. She was wearing Quackerjack's jester mask. And although her bill was a lot shorter, it still had that overbite, albeit to a lesser degree. But it was the eyes that gave him away. Although a lot more feminine now, there was no mistaking the Quackerjack brand of crazy gleaming in them.

The knot dissolved and he was able to concentrate some again. He removed his hands from his stomach and put them on the floor, where his gaze fell seconds later. "Quackerjack." he said, without looking up. "Why are you a woman?" his tone was tired and he sounded mildly annoyed.

Quackerjack, the mystery of WHO the woman was gone, scoffed.  
>"Now look HERE, bucko! Don't go transferring YOUR problems onto ME! YOU'RE the one who's a lady! What, one of your machines gave you female radiation poisoning or something?" She paused, realizing she had just shared the same bed with a woman version of Megavolt. "Er…Your cootie shots ARE up to date, right?"<p>

Time unraveled as Megavolt sat back on his legs and just stared at the female version of his best friend for awhile, trying to understand what he was just told. Quackerjack stared back, obviously seriously needing an answer. Finally, Megavolt blinked. "I'm a lady, too?"

All it took was one glance down at his own body for the rat to realize the duck was right. Staring him in the face were two sizable breasts, that had stretched his undershirt out to the point of being a skimpy belly shirt. A slight but noticeable grin appeared on his face. He reached up and cupped his own breasts, hefting the new weight. "Whoa." he gave them both a squeeze. "I don't remember having THESE babies yesterday!"

Megavolt looked up to see Quackerjack giving him a slightly horrified look. His grin only widened. "I think mine are bigger than yours."

The demented duck had been spending a moment trying to process the words Megavolt uttered, as Quackerjack watched her feel herself in repulsion. Finally, they hit home. "Waitaminute…'too?' 'Bigger than MINE?'"

Quackerjack's hands slowly made their way to her chest, scared of what she might find. After a good few minutes of trepidation, they finally made their way to the t-shirt. The clown's breathe hitched. She…He…

"I have tumors! Megsy, I have cancer! I'm gonna die!" Quackerjack preferred that notion, over the thought of having breasts. Of being female. Death, to her, and sickness was better than the alternative.  
>So she kept himself in denial. That is, until she gave herself a light squeeze, feeling an erotic sensation.<p>

"THAT'S IT!"

Yes, that was the test! Quackerjack looked down to her genitals, and started to think of all the perverted thoughts she could. The Old Spice guy naked with a bowl of jello. Megavolt's masculine form in nothing but a purple speedo. Tube socks. Anything! Just as long as it made her slinky peek out and say hi. No matter how hard the duck tried, no matter how much her loins tingled and burned from pleasure…Nothing happened.

That was when all denial washed away, Quackerjack's eyes began to blacken out, and she weakly said the following words: "Megsy…I'm a woman."

Next thing Megavolt knew, Quackerjack was screaming bloody murder as she ran to the nearest closet and shut herself inside. Even after the door was shut, the mad mallard sitting fetal position on the floor, rocking back and forth, she continued to scream in bloody murder. "I'M A WOMAN!"

Terror caused Quacky to shake violently. Tears threatened to overcome her. Everything around her, everything she touched, could infect her with the cootie virus. Heck, she could infect herself! Quackerjack had woken up to her worst nightmare.  
>(It even topped the one where the purple bubblegum monster lived in his basement, wanting to turn him into duck gum!)<p>

The grin disappeared from Megavolt's face, as she shot up and scurried to the closet door. "Quacky? Quacky, calm down, okay?" she cooed through the door, not sure if she had been heard at all over the screaming. She sighed and placed a hand over the doorknob. "I'm coming in, okay?"

Quackerjack didn't answer, but at least the screaming stopped as it dissolved into loud sobbing. Megavolt opened the closet door slowly to find his best fried huddled against the far wall in a fetal position, her head down, hiding her face from view as she continued to bawl uncontrollably.

Megavolt felt her heart break at that moment, and suddenly she felt like crying, too. Boy, this sure was turning out to be an emotional roller coaster. "Aw hey now come on, Quacky, don't..." the rodent made her way over to the jester and sat down beside her, reaching out to put a hand lightly on her trembling back. "I mean, it's not like this is a forever deal, you know? We'll fix it. Or someone can. I promise." Megavolt began rubbing the duck's back for comfort.

It took many minutes, but eventually the trembling and the crying stopped. Megavolt, however, continued to rub her partner-in-crime's back. Every once in a while, a shiver sent itself up Quackerjack's spine.

It had seemed like they had been silent forever, when the mumbled voice of the female broke the quiet. Head still down, she said: "I wasn't crying, ya know. I'm just having a severely allergic reaction to the cooties. Even with my annual shots, it must be putting my immune system into overload. Or somethin'."

Denial returned again, this time at a healthier dose. Before the electrical genius could reply back, Quackerjack lift up her head to look Megavolt in the eyes. The demented duck's eyes were red and a bit puffy, the rodent not bringing it to their attention. Quackerjack spoke again."How the heck are we supposed to correct this? Building a rainbow robotic unicorn is one thing, heck- so is a time top; but, how do ya fix chromosomes? Neither of us know ANYTHING about that kind of stuff. " She smiled, "Heh. And I don't think you've even ever LOOKED at a girl before, let alone studied 'em. Heh."

Megavolt's frown deepened. Quackerjack was right. Both of them were technological geniuses, and Megavolt had studied up on a little bit of biology after his accident to help him better understand the fascinating phenomenon, but when it came to the building blocks that made up gender, both of them were in the dark.

They both sat in silence a bit more, trying to think of a solution, without much hope of finding one. The rodent was the first to speak. "Well... maybe Bushroot would know what to do. I mean, if he could turn a duck into a stalk of celery..." he trailed off and shrugged.

Quackerjack became excited, as she followed the rodent's train of thought. "Then he should be able to give us woodies back! Hehe! Ooooooh, Megsy, I could kiss ya right now!" she then made a face again. "But I won't. You never DID mention whether your shots are up to date, ya know. " her smile then came back full force, as she jumped up (nearly hitting her head in the process). "Come oooooon, we got a doctor's appointment! And this time, I plan on leavin' with a lollipop! Hehehe!"

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, one lyceum nycanthropus was busy orchestrating his own plan. Bushroot was in his greenhouse, sitting at his work desk. Plans upon plans were written on pieces of paper scattered around him. The mutant plant-duck was in the middle of checking how much funds he had spent that month, and to see if he'd have to go out and rob a bank sometime soon.

He sighed. Bushroot really despised having to leave his perennial paradise. Since becoming a monster, or what the citizens perceived him as, the plant-duck had become more of a hermit. Isolated in his own world. Alone.

Bushroot was startled out of his thoughts, as he heard something crash in the background. Turning around swiftly, he glared as he saw that his flytrap dog had broken yet another pot, while he tried to catch a few stray flies.

Well, he wasn't COMPLETELY alone.

"Spike, that's the third one this week! How's a plant duck to work when there's things breaking everywhere?" Spike merely answered with his tongue sticking out, and his butt wagging playfully. Bushroot shook his head, and turned back around. How was he supposed to get him to understand? "Oh, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy if we ran out of fertilizer." The plant-duck mumbled to himself.

A couple minutes went by, before Bushroot was interrupted yet again. This time, however, by a knock the greenhouse door. The duck got up out of his chair in a huff, as he began to stomp his roots toward the door. "Oh, sure, let's all say hi when I actually have work to do. Probably the girl scouts again; they NEVER leave me alone."

On the other side of the door, Quackerjack and Megavolt waited for Bushroot to come let them in. They knew he was home, because when he was out and about, it was hard not to know with all the screaming and police sirens.

Megavolt grunted as she tried in vain to get the top of her old jumpsuit to cover more of herself. She pulled and tugged, but there just wasn't enough room in it anymore, and she was popping out the top. The rodent had always been the type to cover as much of herself as possible at all times, even back in her school days, so being forced to wear something that wouldn't cover much up top and was uncomfortably, and revealingly, tight everywhere else, had put Megavolt in an irritable mood.

Quackerjack, however, was on the opposite spectrum. Everything was now too BIG. It had been an awkward walk, pulling up her pants every few steps. The duck's top had been marginally a success, the new breasts not big enough to cause trouble, unlike the rodent's. However, the collar was now too big as well. It turned and twisted, going out of place constantly. It rubbed Quackerjack's neck funny.

The pair both looked rather comical, when Bushroot opened the door. The toymaker held up her pants with both hands, as Megavolt continued to play with her chest.

The plant duck was confused and equally flustered. "Q-Quackerjack? Megavolt?" The lyceum nycanthropus was pushed out of the way, as the female duck forced her way inside.

"Come on, come on! It's rude to keep a lady waitin', or something."

Bushroot was too startled to complain. He was busy looking over them both, gawking. "w-what….How did this HAPPEN?" His leafy hands gestured to their new bodies. His awkwardness growing when he realized it had looked like he was cupping his own non-existent melons. They instead went to rubbing his palms together, nervously.

Megavolt scowled at the plant duck. "Well how are we supposed to know that? We just... woke UP this way!" she snapped. It only took a second for the rodent's glare to once again change its focus to her own chest. She sneered. "I hate you. BOTH of you." she growled at herself. "But I hate YOU just a liiittle bit more." she added, pointing at her left breast. Then it was back to attempting to shove them back into her top. "OOHH! WHY! WHY MUST YOU BE SO STUBBORN!"

"Um…Please stop doing that. It's…It's distract- Just please don't do that."

Bushroot turned around, shielding his eyes and thoughts from the demented duo. He began to speak again. "You don't know? Are you sure it wasn't a side effect from one of your machines? Tron splitter didn't accidentally split your chromosomes? Time top leaking some…Oh, I don't know, female radiation that creates parallel dimensions, or something?"  
>Quackerjack threw up her arms: "That's what I asked!"<p>

However, doing so caused her pants to drop to the ground. If Bushroot had been turned around, he would have seen her green banana panties. She giggled as she pulled them up. "Hehe! Whoops!"

Megavolt stopped fussing, suddenly becoming a bit flustered herself, although not nearly as much as Bushroot had been. She'd forgotten that breasts meant more to most people than just built-in airbags that were constantly getting in the way. She awkwardly cleared her throat.

"Sorry. Um, let's see... my tron-splitter was destroyed, the time top- both of them- were stolen, and the most complicated machine we've been around in the past week was a toaster." she answered, counting off the things on her fingers. "Look, can't you do something... ANYthing? You're the best at turning things into... other, things." Megavolt then cast a glance over to Quackerjack and snickered. "Nice panties, by the way."

"Yeah, Doc, fix us!"

Bushroot threw a glance over his shoulder to look at them both."I'm a botanist. Debatably also a herbologist and phytopathologist. Point is, I'm a PLANT doctor! It's not my place to help people. I don't think I ca-"

Quackerjack unleashed her puppy dog eyes and pout. Somehow twice as powerful as its male counterpart. Going back and forth from one sad face to the rodent's disappointed one, the lyceum nycanthropus felt himself giving in. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well…Er, I can at least try. Maybe run a few tests? Though I don't know if I can be too much help."

Megavolt clasped her hands together in front of herself and beamed. "We'll take it! Tests are better than nothing." she scratched her head. "So, uh... how does that work, exactly?"

"I was thinking some blood tests. Maybe get a vile, each. There is a possibility that you might have some type of poison or strange infection." He shrugged. "I've seen weirder things in the city, why not?"

Quackerjack's eyes widened. "Bloodwork…as in NEEDLES. And POKING. And…And other stuff?" She shook her head violently, the bells on the end jingling madly with her. "Nuh uh, I don't think so, Bushbrain."

Bushroot put his hands on his hips. "And why not?"

"Needles huuuuuurt!"

Megavolt crossed her arms over her chest, as best she could, and gave Quackerjack a dangerous look. "What, and THIS is worse than getting POKED with a tiny NEEDLE? No! We're GOING to get this done. Go and get whatever we need, Bushroot, I'll SIT on her, if I have to." she said, glancing back at her own butt, that had been uncomfortably larger since the transformation.

And that's what happened. As the plant-duck went to go get the things they'd need, Megavolt and Quackerjack began to fight. As the female toymaker tried to get away, still holding up her pants, the rodent tried to hold her back. Breasts and limbs squished and rubbed against each other, as they fought for control. It got so bad that they fell to the ground. Megavolt made due with her promise, and the electrical villainess sat on the demented duck as Quackerjack kicked and screamed. "But I don't LIKE needles! I don't LIKE them! I dooooon't!"

QuackerJane: Finally, it got to the point where Bushroot had to call his vines for help. After ten minutes of struggle, they finally got what they needed from the toymaker. The vines dropped her, as Quackerjack rubbed her wrist. "…Heh. Ya know, that wasn't too bad! Hehehe!"

Both Bushroot and Megavolt groaned as they rolled their eyes. It was then the rodent's turn, which didn't take anywhere near as long. The lyceum nycanthropus gave each vile a quick shake. "Uh, let's go take a look?"

Fifteen minutes later, the two villainesses stood waiting behind Bushroot, as he ran tests, as was promised. Quackerjack was growing bored and impatient already, but Megavolt was more concerned about the odor. "Uhg. It always smells like potpourri manure in here..." she whispered, not wanting to offend the plant duck on this particular day.

The toymistress stuck out her tongue. "Ick," she whispered back", It's like that Breeze Spray. Or air fresheners in general. They never work! All they do is blend with the funk and create SUPER funk! Bum bad um buuuuuum! Suuuuuper Funk! The love child of Ammonia Pine and a dirty disco dancer! Hehehe!"

Mad laugher suddenly resonated off of the glass walls of the green house, causing Bushroot to jump and glare at the two madwomen behind him. The laughter stopped. Megavolt grinned sheepishly. "Uhhh... so. Did you find anything?" she questioned, not only to break the awkward silence, but to chase away the horrible thoughts brought on by hearing 'Ammonia Pine' and 'love child' in the same sentence, that were currently attempting to invade her poor mind.

Bushroot cleared his throat. "Er, yes and no." The two ladies gave him quizzical expressions. " Yes, as in, I DID find something. Something DIFFERENT…But, um, I don't think it's not….Normal?" The plant duck moved away from the microscope, so the two others could see what he was referring to. "It seems Megavolt's bloodstream produces white blood cells at a constant rate to get the electricity out of his body. But when they attack it, instead of destroying it…they fuse. Really, it's quite fascinating!"

He paused and began to fidget with his leafy palms."But other than that…No. You two just appear to be two healthy women."

Quackerjack pulled her hat in frustration. "Uuuuugh. Don't use the W word! So there isn't anything you can do?"

"No….Nothing that I can do. I can't seem to find anything that can explain your condition. I'm really sorry."

Megavolt groaned, feeling dejected and more than a little annoyed. "Are you serious? What a huge waste of time THAT was!" she snapped. The look on Bushroot's face made it clear that comment had stung a bit, but that he hadn't expected any less from them. The rodent frowned and actually felt bad. Must be a side effect of being a woman, she thought. "But uh, y'know, thanks a bunch for trying, pal. We owe ya one." she reassured.

The two of them made their way to the door, Quackerjack slumped over, all hope gone from the duck's being. It hurt Megs to see him like that, even worse than the thought of being a woman forever. Although, if these sappy thoughts kept popping up like this, it might give it a run for its money, she thought bitterly. She placed a hand on her friend's back again and gave a fake smile. "So, Fertilizer-for-brains can't help us, so what? We're a couple of geniuses, here!" Megavolt coaxed, as soon as they were out of earshot from Bushroot. She pushed open the door and they made their way down the hill, away from the plant duck's property. "Of course we'll need some research first..." she mumbled.

Quackerjack stopped in her tracks, trying to think of how they could even begin to do research, let alone fix the actual problem. That's when a thought struck her. She voiced her ponders aloud."Heeeey….I think I read somethin' in the paper a week ago about the local Women's Institute of Science doing a research on what create an extra X chromosome in some women and men. " The duck had read it when she stole both a suitcase of money and newspaper from some old mallard. Quackerjack didn't see the need to bring THAT part of the story up, and went on: "Ya know, it was about trying to fine the chromosome and isolate it from the rest of the body. I don't know much about that bibbidy boopiddy biology stuff…But maybe they might have something?"

Megavolt's face lit up and she clapped her gal pal on the shoulder. "Hmm, you just might be onto something there, Quacky! I guess we'll be paying that Institute a little visit..." she added a demented chuckle, before frowning again. "Uh... any idea where this 'Women's Institute of Science' is located?"

"Heck if I know! Hehe!"

This left the other female to facepalm, as they continued to walk away. Okay, so Bushroot was a bust. And both Megavolt and Quackerjack had no idea where to find the only place around that might have the research they needed. (Oh, if only the legendary Doctor Slug wasn't away on vacation!) However, despite all of this, they had a plan.

And a plan was a good place to start.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Moonie: With all this fondling, vines and boob-squishing fights, I'm not sure I want them to lose their womaness.

Snark: I must agree. It's….It's VERY fun to imagine. I blame you, you had Megs fondling his…her breasts. Did I ever mention how much of a pain the gender thing was writing?

Moonie: Yeah I know :( I kept having to go back and change mine. I probably missed a few... and by the way, it made my inner fangirl giggly to see... read, Bushy get all flustered.

Snark: I'm just disappointed this didn't turn into an ultimate threesome. I guess he had to keep reminding himself that it was Quacky/Megs underneath all that sexy. Yeeeeeah, I can relate there, buddy.

Moonie: Boy would he have woken up the next morning regretting THAT little adventure XD C'mon, you know you want a threesome with those two. On second thought never mind.

Snark: ….Noooo thank you. I'll stick to touching myself when nobody is looking. It feels less dirty that way.

Moonie: It's still pretty dirty when you think about them touching themselves while you touch yourself. Whoops, this chapter needs to be bumped up to T now.

Snark: You know what, can we not talk about me touching myself when it comes to Quackerjack and Megs? This joke backfired and is making me feel a bit sick. So, how about those butterflies?

Moonie: Buhahaha XD Okay, okay, fair enough. We should probably go to bed anyway.

Snark: We probably should. I got to go watch Winnie the Pooh later! …I hope Quacky doesn't ruin that movie for me. If he says ONE thing, I'm…I'm SO going to do something!

Moonie: Gasp! Not... SOMETHING! D: May he fear the dreaded SOMETHING and keep his bill shut. Good night Snarkieboo, tootles folks!

Snark: Loooove you, wifey! And…I guess love you too, audience. Smooches! 


	3. Snakes and Ladders

DISCLAIMER: Um... Snarkie forgot to write this, so I'm just gonna say we don't friggin own anything, so don't sue us, m'kay? And oh yeah, leave a comment if you... liked it. Or hated it. Or... insert funny tag line here.

WARNING: Again, Snarkie usually writes these. Lesbian porn ahead... explicit lesbian porn between a demented duck and a brain-fried rat. Time to up the rating, and hold on to your reading glasses folks, because this is a long one.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Snakes and Ladders

Night had settled fast over the fair city of Saint Canard. It had been a busy last few days for both the electrical self-proclaimed genius and the toymistress. It had appeared that a crime wave had swept the city. Left and right research labs, miscellaneous universities, and factories were being robbed of documents and parts. The break-ins beginning over at the Women's Institute of Science. The headmistress had been dreadfully confused and disturbed by it. She had feared that a competing university had sabotaged and stolen the breakthroughs her scientists had made. The other robbed places just as confused. It seemed, to them, it wasn't what they considered valuable materials. Why would anyone steal THIS, when just in the other room there were parts that would build weapons that could destroy all of Saint Canard.

But, luckily for them, the two madcap individuals didn't WANT or NEED those. They had other more important matters at hand.

"Megsy, my hands are getting tiiiiired! Can't we take a break, or something?" Quackerjack had dropped the wrench she had been using, to rub her sore palms. They had been working on their project nonstop all day. The toy warehouse had long sense grown dark, as they had been so into their work they didn't notice the lights had slowly but surely dwindled away to nothing. The dark sending odd shadows all over the place.

Megavolt connected and soldered a few more wires, stepped away to remove her goggles (which had also become uncomfortably tight since the transformation, so she only tended to wear them when absolutely necessary), and wiped her brow. She studied the machine in front of her before giving a nod. "Yeah... we made some nice progress today. And besides..." she looked around. " I haven't been able to see what I'm doing for the past hour or so."

The rodent plopped down in a nearby cushy beanbag chair and sighed. "You could probably turn the lights on now. They don't like the dark, anyway."

"Finally! It's so dark, I'm having trouble seein' my bill! Heh. Clap on, it is!" The female duck clapped her hands loudly, the lights suddenly flashing on. It burned Quackerjack's eyes, as she quickly shut them. When she opened them, her eyes landed on the Mister Banana brain sitting on the nearest workbench. "Oh, that's right. Smile and laugh away! "

"It's just funny to see, Smee!"

"Keep it up and I'll go stick ya with the teddies. Heh, I know how much you looooove those guys!"

Mister Banana Brain remained silent.

Figuring she won the argument, the demented duck nodded to herself. The hat gave a soft jingle. She then giggled to herself as she remembered the last spat his doll and the stuffed animals had. The bears had threatened if the banana ever went on their turf again, he'd be very very sorry. Mister Bebe was sure to split.

Quackerjack was taken out of her thoughts, as her gaze landed on her partner-in-crime. She smiled as the duck then ran and plopped onto the beanbag right next to Megavolt. The toymistress wiggled her tush into the odd chair, until she felt comfortable. She sighed. "Aaaah, my butt has a happy! Hehe!"

"Oh, good for your butt." Megavolt grumbled, frowning at almost being sat upon. She settled back and admired Quackerjack's lights. "Clap-on, huh? Fancy! How'd you manage to afford-" she stopped when she saw her gal pal roll her eyes. "Oh, right." she'd temporarily forgotten that purchasing things was not any villain's preferred means of obtaining anything.

Megavolt shifted in the over sized pliable chair and cleared her throat. "So... got any ideas on what to do now? Like a, I dunno, a board game, or something?" she paused for only a split second before hastily adding "And do NOT suggest one of those accursed paddle ball games!" the electrical genius somehow always managed to smack herself in the face with those things.

"Bah! You just need to learn how to treat the paddle right. You swing it like you're a wife beater or something. Heh."  
>Quackerjack jumped back up from her seat, as she skipped over to her large pile of games scattered all over the floor. Twister? Naaaah, the duck's hands were already sore from hours of work. And then Megs would just be whining, and complaining, and doing all sorts of fuddy duddy stuff.<p>

So no. No twister.

Oooo, chinese checkers? That was always a fun game! Although…Megavolt always complained that the board was in a completely different language. The rodent didn't seem to grasp that all it was, was wholes and pegs.  
>ScaryHatter: So no. No Chinese anything.<p>

Hmmm…Chess? PFFT! Hahaha! The LAST time they had played chess, it had ended up being them arguing over whether or not Quackerjack had cheated. (He had, but HE didn't like people telling him what he did or did not do!)

There were a few more boxes, but none spoke to her. Finally, the toymaker reached for the final game in the pile. Her crazed smile widened. "Oooo, perfecto! We're gonna play THIS!" Quackerjack shoved a box in the other woman's face.

The box was snatched as Megavolt got a closer look at the game Quacky had chosen. "Snakes and Ladders?" she shrugged. "Okay."

Moments later, the two women were on the floor, a board game in between them, as time ticked away around them. Of course, Quackerjack was winning by a long shot, but it was impossible to tell if it was because she was cheating, or Megavolt just had no idea how to play the game.

"Three, and fou-OH COME ON!" she yelled at the slab of card board, as she once again landed on a slippery snake, sending her three rows down. "What is WITH these infernal reptiles?" she harrumphed, slumped, put her head in her hand, waving half-heartedly towards her opponent across from her. "Your turn."

The delighted duck stuck out her tongue, as she rolled the dice. Quackerjack squealed from excitement, as she rolled a three. "Seventy-eiiiiight. Seventy-niiiiine. Eighty! Hehe! I got me a ladder! Gooooin' uuuup!"

Quackerjack had won the game. "Ooo ooo oo! Lookey here! Hehehe! I wooooon! I Wooooon. I shot the b.b gun! You looooost. You loooost. You ate the applesauce! " The duck continued her dancing for a little while longer, shamelessly gloating. After a while longer she stopped and smiled. "Heh. Wanna play another round?"

Megavolt scowled. She was about to point out that a die only goes up to six, and that she had undoubtedly just cheated, but even Megavolt knew it was, at most times pointless to argue with the duck. So instead, she just huffed and mumbled a "No."

The rodent glanced over at their half-finished machine. "Got anything else, or... should we get back to work?"

Quackerjack was not ready to get back to work. Not now, and from the way her hands continued to sting…Never again.

The duck looked over at her lover as she tried to think of what they could possibly do. Megavolt's eyelids had become lidded in annoyance. If Quackerjack had really thought about it, she would have found the rodent's female form very attractive. Heck, back in her college days, and as a man, she would have found her…HOT!

The toymistress pondered on this some more. While she had always had the inclinations of liking things up the rear, she had been attracted to both genders. He just found, as he got older, most women started seeming the same. Nothing stood out about them. Nothing in their personalities drew her towards them. The duck needed more than a pretty face.

Saying that, it didn't hurt if the mind had a very nice body too…

Quackerjack smiled sultrily, and she looked the rodent in the eyes. "So, Megsy….ever play doctor with a girl, growing up?"

The look on the duck's face, and just the way she'd said that, caused Megavolt to blush a little. She pried her gaze away from Quackerjack's alluring eyes and transfixed them elsewhere; on an enormous dangerous-looking teddy bear across the room. The rodent know how much her pal feared 'cooties', and she would not be up for humiliation by Quackerjack's shameless teasing, if she could help it. "Uuum... no, actually. But if YOUR idea of 'playing doctor' involves a real bone saw, FORGET it."

The jester chortled, and then crawled her way closer to the other villainous. "Oh no no. Heh. No bones or saws are needed here. When I was little, I used to play this with the other boys and girls. I'd get a toy stethoscope and first monitor the patient's breathing."

Quackerjack pretended she had a listening device in her hand, as her fingers touchedd different parts of Megavolt's chest. Her tongue wetting her bill, as she licked her lips. "Then, you haveta check the reflexes. All the doctors do it, though I could never really figure out why."

Her hands traveled down the rodent's body, before they landed on one of her knees. She imagined she had a little hammer, as she tapped Megavolt's knee a few times. "And after all that, there was one last thing I'd do. I'd tell my patient to take of their clothes, and strip, so I could give them their.." Quackerjack brought her lips to where Megavolt's ears would have been. She whisper: "Then I would give them their physical."

The electrical villainous swallowed the lump in her throat. "Oh." she replied simply, the shiver that ran down her spine at that moment causing the utterance to come out in a shaky, uneven way.

Megavolt's body was already starting to react to his friend's touch a little too much, and an alarm went off in her mind, telling her that if she didn't put a stop to it now, it would come to the point of no return, and leave her as the butt end of whatever joke her friend was playing. Megavolt was not about to lose to Quackerjack a second time that night. So she decided to tease back.

A devious smirk played across the rodent's lips. "Oh, yeah? Well you ARE a woman now, Quacky, don't forget to schedule your annual mammograms!" Both of her hands reached out to cup Quackerjack's small breasts, giving them a couple of quick, but gentle squeezes. Oh how he hoped this would throw her off and be the end of it; the feel of his lover's scant but warm and firm boobs in her hands was not exactly helping to calm her body down.

The clown was about to complain, telling her friend that saying the "W-word" really killed the mood…When Megavolt suddenly grabbed the duck's chest. The fact she had them still weirded her out, not entirely comfortable with being the opposite sex. But the discomfort was quick to melt away when the action began to cause her to shiver from delight. The rodent's plan had backfired, as Quackerjack found herself enjoying the experience more and more after every squeeze.

"Did I pass the test with flyin' rainbow colors, or will you need to give it a second go? Maybe you could give me a second opinion? Heh."

Megavolt's grin faltered. Either Quackerjack was the world's best actor... 'actress' , she mentally corrected herself, or the duck was enjoying this just as much as she was. That was fine, too. "I choose 'D' ; all of the above."

The rodent pulled back, hastily removing her gloves and tossing them to the side. Then she reached out again, but this time she snaked both hands up under the jester's shirt, palms trailing up a flat, feathered stomach before reaching the soft orbs, which they immediately grasped firmly. Instead of playful squeezing this time, the breasts were massaged, palms pressed firmly to the bottom and fronts of them, while eager thumbs went to work circling the inner sides, and the tops.

"You can't choose D, heh, that's not my cup size."

This, however, was soon forgotten as hands were introduced to the small breasts once more. The form squeeze made the toymistress' breath hitch. The rubbing itself, didn't do too much. That it, until little shocks were sporadically given to the duck's breasts. Her teeth bit the bottom part of her bill from pleasure, as she giggled.

"Now now, wasn't I the doctor here first? If anything, I was in the middle of checking YOU." Her own arms swept onto the outside of the other's arms, as they weaved them back in again. Her hands grabbing what she could of the electrical rodent's chest. Quackerjack smiled as she firmly squeezed them. "Honk honk! Hehe! Now, as I was saying, I'm the doctor here. But I don't see why we can't both get our check-ups at once. " She squeezed them hard again, enjoying the slight wince she got from the other. "Myyyy, you're lumpy. Heh, I think I'll have to examine you closer. It could be SERIOUS!"

Before Megavolt could blink, she found herself on her back. Quackerjack's jester hat leaning over the toymaker's shoulders like long ponytails. Keeping her hands on the rodent's large breasts, she leaned over and gave the other criminal a quick eskimo kiss. "Of course, this exam will be part of doctor-patient confidentiality. Unless, heh, you prefer I make it…public."

Being knocked back had caused Megavolt to lose her hold on her prize, but now they found their way to her lover's slender back, instead. "No, that's okay. We have enough of an audience as it is." she whispered, trying not to think about the countless sets of glass and plastic eyes watching the two of them right now. Buuuh. Dolls always gave Megavolt the creeps, especially in numbers like Quacky tended to keep.

Disappointment set in momentarily as Megavolt realized her hands couldn't quite reach their destination at this angle. So instead they came to rest just above the duck's hips, as she returned the eskimo kiss, and then planted a more traditional smooch on the tip of her bill.

The rodent found it an unusual feeling to have any bit of throbbing down below, without feeling herself pressed uncomfortably against her clothes. Her chest was a different story, however. She could feel that her nipples had erected themselves under Quackerjack's teasing hands, and although the jester was currently focused on squeezing, every slight movement that caused her palms to rub against them sent shocks of sensual pleasure through her body.

"Nonsense! Heh. Nothing wrong with public exposure!" As if to prove her point, the very pieces of flesh that the rodent had tried to keep covered, were taken out of their hiding place. They practically popped out from the tight suit. Quackerjack enjoyed seeing how the top cupped under the fold of the chest, keeping the breasts in place. She was twice as happy to see the nipples greet her. "Well helloooooo nurse! Hehe!"

The duck playfully flicked the left nipple, the one that Megavolt had so much hatred for. She smiled and was amused to see the action caused the piece of meat to jiggle back and forth. After playing and flicking a few more times, both hands cupped and squeezed Megavolt's flesh. The duck's thumbs and fingers gripping around the nipples as if she was about to milk for a glass of milk before bed. Quackerjack alternatively squeezed and pulled each boob, very much enjoying the moans it enticed out of the villain under her.

Suddenly Megavolt's hands shot out and grabbed Quackejack's wrists. "Okay, stop now." The villainous' breath was still short and hitching as she said it. While the rodent's nipples had been sensitive before he was a she, they had never been this touchy. The constant stimulation the jester was providing had proved to be a bit too much.

Quackerjack's shirt was lifted until her own breasts were exposed, after the rodent had decided to release the duck's wrists. Megavolt went back to squeezing them a little, before running her thumbs over the smooth surface. She frowned. "That isn't fair. You don't HAVE nipples." whined the electrical rodent. Leave it to Quacky to not play fair, she thought. Why must avians and mammals be so different, anyway? She hoped she'd find buttons she could push, elsewhere.

The toymaker stuck out her tongue teasingly. "Nyah nyah. Haha! That's what you get, for getting the bigger milkshakes. Such sensitive lil' things, aren't they?" Quackerjack cooed. "I always liked my shakes large, ya know. All the better to slurp 'em down."

As if to prove her point, the duck's bill went to Megavolt's right breast. Her tongue first darting out to lick the womanly erection. She blew on it, allowing cold air to hit it. The criminal smirked triumphantly, as the rodent let out another hiss. Quackerjack didn't allow it to remain cold for long, as her mouth went to greet it once more. She sucked slowly at first, allowing the flesh to pop and jiggle when the duck stopped. This then quickly became Quackerjack sucking and nibbling hungrily at the breast. Meanwhile, the toymaker was busy fondling the left. Couldn't let it feel left out, after all.

"Quackerjaaaaack!" it came out sounding like something between a whine and a moan. She was throbbing quite painfully in her nether regions now, and... and that gave her an idea.

A hand found its way between the jester's spread legs, and pressed upwards hard, so it would be felt through the thick pants. Then, the hand flattened and drug upwards towards the duck's lower belly, every inch from the base of her palm, to the tips of her fingers sliding against the mound underneath.

The sudden foreplay with her neither regions causing Quackerjack to suddenly bite down hard on the erect flesh that was in her mouth, as she left out a loud and audible moan. She felt herself rubbing along with the rodent's massaging and fondling, when she suddenly let go of the nipple in her mouth. "That…heh. THAT felt different."

Different, yes. And yet Quackerjack couldn't help but be reminded of the many times Megavolt's fingers had massaged the head of his penis. When trapped in this new and foreign female body, that was the only thing the female duck could relate it to. It seemed that while the toymaker had lost a sensitive slinky, she had gained something just as sensitive. It made her feel even more comfortable in the strange body.

Megavolt rubbed around her sore nipple, but found that didn't work with that particular body part to relieve pain. Instead, she brought up the hand that was used to rub her lover's sex, and sniffed it loudly. "Mmm. Say, I wonder if you taste different, too." she licked the fingers, but to the rat's disappointment, all she tasted was her own flesh.

Megavolt placed her hands on the jester's shoulders, pressed her pelvis upward and used the leverage to push the clown off of her. Now it was Megavolt's turn to pin Quackerjack. Normally, she could never do that, but the added weight in her chest and hips gave her an advantage for a change. She tried ignoring the little voice in the back of her mind, telling her she was only in this position now, because Quackerjack wanted her to be.

By the time Megavolt had started fondling the other woman's privates, the jester was ready to switch their games. Thus, Quackerjack didn't fight when she was put onto her back. The toymistress flirtatiously raising a brow, as she smiled sultrily.

"You should give it a try. I don't have a lollipop anymore, but I'm suuuuure something just as sweet will find ya. Hehe!" She wiggled her hips in a teasing manner.

Megavolt didn't need to be asked twice. Or even once, really. She wasted no time in getting into position, and yanking down Quackerjack's over sized jester pants. She smiled as she was met with the rainbow undies she'd seen many times before, but although she'd never mention it to Quacky, they'd never quite looked THIS good on him before.

The rodent lightly grasped the waistband of the thin undergarment, and pulled those away, too. Although they were tighter so the process was slower, it did do wonders for suspense.

No erect slinky sprung out to greet her. A small patch of extra fluffy down feathers was the only indication of any genitalia at all. But Megavolt was not deterred. After all, it looked much liked this the few times Quackerjack's 'toy soldier' hadn't felt much like saluting at that moment, and Megs had to persuade it to do so. Only this time, she thought to herself, Mr. Toy Soldier wasn't home.

Megavolt dragged her fingers over the soft mound, parting the feathers as they went, giving her a glimpse of the crevice underneath every so often. Without warning, she slipped two fingers inside, to drag along the inside of the lips.

Quackerjack couldn't help but pout from the teasing. The duck had been oozing from their play for a while now, her loins throbbing to a rhythm even she couldn't decipher. The crazed toymaker felt fire in her privates, and she mused to herself if it was hot enough to roast marshmallows down there. Her amusement didn't last long, as it was interrupted by Megavolt beginning to massage her clit with her two fingers. Quackerjack bit her bottom lip, as the pleasure washed over her. The demented duck felt like the rodent was eagerly rubbing her like a crystal ball. Good fortune would come their way.

The rubbing stopped abruptly , causing the duck to whimper in protest. Megavolt brought her slickened fingers to her mouth and sucked them clean. Both the taste and texture were different than she was used to, but not in a bad way. She decided right then and there, she was a fan of this brand of duck sauce, too. And she wanted more.

The sampling over, the rodent decided to get up close and personal with her lover's new equipment. She pressed her nose to it and sniffed, before licking the surrounding feathers clean of the excess fluid that had escaped. Then the tongue darted past the lips, to run from the base of the inner labia, to just underneath the jester's clitoris. She continued with this motion, gaining speed, much like a dog lapping at spilled honey.

This was almost better than before, thought Megavolt. There seemed to be an endless supply of this stuff, and she just couldn't get enough. Her mind clouded, the exotic taste coating her tongue and erotic scent filling her lungs, she lost herself and forgot everything else for the moment.

Quackerjack was going crazy; her moans and panting escaping just like the river of her loins. This. This was what she had wanted. Megavolt's wild licking was sending her onto cloud nine. Her mind hazed, her head rolling from side to side as she held onto the pleasure. The duck's finger finding their way through the electrical villain's hair, as Quackerjack held her friend's head in place.

The toymistress cooed out the other villain's name in excitement: "Meeeg-GA-vooooolt. Oh…Oh Megsy!"

It didn't take long for Quackerjack's cries to snap Megavolt out of her trance. She retracted her tongue and smiled, going to work licking off the treat from her own lips instead. She'd never been able to get THIS kind of reaction out of her lover before. She found she quite liked it.

With the hand still planted on top of her head, Megavolt wasn't able to sit up, so she decided to change her tactics, instead. Taking the uppermost part of the duck's sex in her mouth, so her bottom lip came to rest under the rather eager and swollen clit, with her top lip covering the very top of her outer labia, she began to suck slowly, the tip of her tongue brushing over it ever so lightly. This had felt good, too good as it turned out, when Quackerjack had done this to her nipple earlier, and this was one form of revenge both women could get behind.

The duck had needed that pause, actually. She had panted as she tried to steady her own heartbeat. It was just enough to clear her head, as Quackerjack started to become aware of where she was again. Phew, that was close! The pleasure had become too great, that it had been hurting her. If Megavolt had kept lapping up her fountain of duck sauce, Quackerjack would have lost her precious record.

When it came to mutual playtime, she ALWAYS held last. Always.

Right when the toymaker was about to come up with some plan to get the other villain to submit to HER….Megavolt had a surprise attack up her sleeve. Suddenly, before Quackerjack knew what hit her, the electrical rodent was giving her mini-head. Megavolt sucked hard on the duck's female erection. The toymaker's grip on the other criminal's head tightened as she gasped. Her webbed toes curled in her shoes. This was it, it couldn't last longer. Megavolt only seemed to suck on her harder.

"M-M-Megs….UGH. This isn't f-faaair!"

Quackerjack's hips spasmed as she continued to hold the rodent in place. She left out an elongated "oooh!" as she flooded her sweet nectar onto the other villain's mouth and chin. Her hat jingled as she plopped her head back onto the beanbag under her. She tried to catch her breath, as she brought her hands to her face. Quackerjack groaned. "My recoooord! Megsy, you cheated! "

It wasn't fair, because it had been one of the most erotic experiences she ever had. So new. So different. Having a different body made it difficult for her mind to translate these feelings and sensory pleasures.

The duck giggled to herself. Okay, it wasn't fair. And she might have been a stupid girl, but…

"Heh. That was fuuuun! Hehe!"

Megavolt was grinning wide as she cleaned up the juice from her chin and lips. It was at that moment that she discovered her left hand had found its way between her own legs, and she had been rubbing herself through her suit bottoms to relieve some of the painful throbbing.

Suddenly, the rodent's face flushed, and she snatched her hand away like it had been bitten (drudging up past unpleasant memories that were quickly pushed away), and hid the hand behind her back, as if it would tell on her if she didn't. She was relieved to see her lover laying back on the floor with her eyes closed at that moment. She wasn't sure just why that had embarrassed her; it wasn't as if they hadn't watched each other masturbate before.

Megavolt cleared her throat, and shifted into a sitting position, the hard warehouse floor staring to take its tole on her knees. "Uh, yeah, I'll say. I had no IDEA gals had a never ending supply of... aheh heh, you know." her grin returned with a devious twist. "And who woulda guessed YOU'D be such a screamer, Quacky!" she added, letting out a cackle that was more of a giggle now that his testicles were gone.

Quackerjack peaked through one of her eyelids, squinting at Megavolt. She huffed as she punched the rodent hard in the shoulder. "Shudduuuuup. Heh. It was just new, alright? Heck, if ya want, I can show you how it's just that good." The demented duck wiggled her eyebrows in a cartoonish but sultry manner.

However, before Quackerjack could continue with that train of thought, he began to recollect about some of the women of his past. She could recall a few girls he'd been with who experienced multiple orgasms in a single night of playtime. (These ladies were the ones he had some of the most fun with, as it let him try out different games.) Quackerjack wondered if she was one of those kinds of girls.

One train of thought went to another, and the crazed villain laughed as a notion came to mind. Quickly scuffling to her feet, she bounced to a corner of the warehouse. In the corner was a large chest; Quackerjack's tailfeathers wagged happily as she bent over and began throwing things left and right. "Nope, need a wingy doodle for this. Naaah, not in the mood for THAT. Hehe! Wow, I forgot I had THAT baby! Hehehe! Maybe later."

Finally, the toymaker found her beloved toy. Just the one she was looking for. Quackerjack hid it behind her back, as she went back to where the rodent was waiting for her- completely confused. The criminal wagged the plaything in front of the other's face. "Oh Meeeegsy….How about I return the favor. Heh. I think you'll just LOVE this game!"

Megavolt recoiled at having a giant fake penis suddenly dangling in front of her face. After the shock had passed, she glared at Quackerjack and snatched the toy to get a closer look.

Closer inspection revealed to her that it had in fact been a DOUBLE dildo that was suddenly hanging in front of her face. A bright purple one, large and metal and sleek, gleaming under the bright lights of the warehouse. The center bulged slightly to house a chamber for three D batteries.

She gave it a quizzical look as she turned it over and squeezed in the middle, only to have it start to vibrate furiously. Megavolt yelped in surprise, dropped the toy, and fell back. Quackerjack was howling with laughter.

By this point, Megavolt was humiliated and it boiled into anger. She growled and sneered. "Why do you even HAVE that thing, Quackerjack?" she yelled, pointing at the double dildo, still vibrating along the floor like an injured caterpillar. After a moment's thought, she added, "And besides, didn't you already... you know. Aren't you done?"

"Whaaaat? Heh. I have LOTS of toys. You've seen a few of 'em, too. You're not around twenty-four seven, ya know." The demented duck bent over to pick up the vibrating device, liking how it felt in her hands. She switched it back and forth for a while, before speaking again.

"Aaaah, tsk tsk. Shows what YOU know. Heh. Guess this wasn't a subject that covered in high school, huh? Hehe! Well, you seeeeeee, when a mommy loves a daddy very very much…" Quackerjack paused to giggle to herself, laughing at her own joke. "Mommy asks daddy for lots and LOTS of love. Multiple times in a night. Mommy has the special and maaaagical ability of being able to play all night loooong. Haha!"

The toymaker's thumb rubbed the head of one of the ends of the vibrator, looking Megavolt in the eyes. "But we have two mommies. And you haven't had your playtime yet. Nonono, this won't dooooo."

Megavolt once again had to look away from the duck's playful teasing. She had to admit; she was curious... not to mention still incredibly horny. She had to fight the urge to rub herself again as that thought crossed her mind. She let out a short, heavy sigh. "Okay, let's do that." She looked back at Quackerjack and the toy. "So uh, what do we... I mean, how do we... will we ne-oh boy." she ran a hand through her short hair, nervously. She had no idea what was wrong with her; her FIRST first time had never been this hard! What was WITH women and all of their trepidations?

'Of course your first first time was easier; he tackled you to the floor and jammed his tongue down your throat. No thinking there!' teased the power drill across the room. Megavolt spun around to glare at it. "OOHH you shut up!"

Quackerjack chortled at Megavolt's outburst. No doubt something or another was mocking the rodent. And they should, too! The electrical villain was acting silly. It was like becoming a girl made it even harder for the rodent to get into pleasuring her own self. She was just acting so shy for no reason!

It made her all the more irresistible, and Quackerjack wanted to taint her even more.

"Weeeeell," she began, "it helps it you didn't have anything blocking the way." The toymistress gestured to the jumpsuit. "Tsk tsk, this won't do! Nooope, it just HAS to go! Hehe!"

Quackerjack got on her knees, to bring herself to Megavolt's height. The other villain's chest was still hanging out, ready to be played with. The duck's feathered finger's brushed over her Megsy's breasts, before reaching for the collars. Quackerjack then initiated stripping the rodent. Megavolt, meanwhile, helped to remove her arms from her sleeves. When they got to her waist, the toymaker pushed the criminal onto her back, and forced her to raise her hips. (It made her notice the wet spot around the crotch area even more. As well as the fact it seemed Megavolt forgot to wear underwear that day.) Once the skin was exposed, Quackerjack playfully licked Megavolt's inner thigh.

"THERE! Part one complete! Hehe!"

Both woman sat there, facing each other, each of of them more-or-less completely nude. Megavolt brought her knees up and spread her legs, trying her best to ignore the overwhelming embarrassment she was feeling. She looked down to study her own sex, and the small patch of reddish-brown hair that grew there. "Gals sure do have a lot of outlets." she said simply. She glanced at the dildo that Quackerjack had grabbed again. "So, um... give me an end... there." She was trying to be helpful, but she honestly had no idea what she was doing. Sure, she'd used a similar toy before she was a she, but this felt new and strange. But she had decided, if she could help build a machine that could swap the gender of a living thing, without any surgery required, she sure as heck could master a simple sex toy.

Quackerjack snatched the toy right back. "Pfft. You look completely terrified and confused. You're gonna unleash my inner sadist if you keep this up. Heh. Here, let ME help ya." Keeping one hand on the dildo, the duck's other hand went to the auburn patch. Feeling where the crease was, she used her to fingers to spread Megavolt's vaginal lips. Seeing the moist welcoming hole, Quackerjack entered her partner-in-crime with a finger. "Even I'm not THAT cruel to just shove this sucker up there. Heh. We got to get you aaaaall ready!"

The duck began to thrust the finger in and out, helping to loosen the rodent up. One finger quickly became two.

Megavolt found it strange that, although the only sensation that the jester's thrusting produced was slight pressure and a dull, far-off pain, her body seemed to be responding by clenching around the invading fingers every so often, her throbbing sex telling them both that this is what it needed. She had to admit, though, having any part of her lover inside of her was enough to be erotic, and boy were her thoughts getting corny.

Two fingers in and out. In and out. Quackerjack found the warmth and the clenching over her fingers to be a pleasure in itself. The thrusting of her digits reminding her of the few times she had Megavolt's body enclosed on her member, when she was still a man. It was enough to start her loins to throb again.

Feeling that the rodent was loose enough, and didn't want to waste any more time, Quackerjack brought the head of one side of the toy to Megavolt's lips. She ran it up and down the other's sex, before deciding it was enough tease. Without giving any warning, the jester shoved the dildo into her lover.

There was a sharp gasp and a squeak, as the girth of the head pushed past the woman's entrance. Quackerjack's prior attention had done well to open up and slicken the way, and it slid in with little resistance, for a way. The jester stopped pushing when the device stopped complying.

It had been awhile since Megavolt had anything inserted into any part of her; she was used to being the plug, not the socket. But she had to admit that this felt alright, and was surprisingly less painful than having things in her back outlet. She looked at the dildo buried half way to the hilt inside of her, and then up at Quackerjack. "Well, that wasn't NEARLY as excruciating as I thought it'd be. So... do I do you now, or...? "

"Heh, just be glad I was playing fair today, Megs. And don't you worry your pretty lil' head, I'll get me situated."

The duck plopped herself onto her rear, and then calculated how close she would have to scooch herself. Quackerjack then spread open her legs, crossing them over Megavolt's. She then aimed the head towards her wet entrance, and plunged. Her face instantly contorted into a happy coo as she reacquainted herself with the toy. Quackerjack found herself excited more when she realized that both her feathery lips and the electrical villain's almost touched. The duck swore she could feel Megavolt's heat on her. Looking Megavolt in the eyes, she smiled deviously. Before the rodent could question anything, Quackerjack turned the devise on.

Once again, the toy buzzed to life, the sound being muffled as both ends remained buried deep inside the two women. megavolt shut her eyes tightly and let out a shaky breath at the sudden pleasurable sensation. She could hear Quackerjack's breath quicken a tad, too, and she opened her eyes to take in the expression on her lover's face.

Megavolt leaned back on her arms, and stretched out her legs, purposefully rubbing hers along Quackerjack's in a sensual manner. She was finally starting to feel confident again, comfortable again. Using the leverage this new position provided, she slowly brought her hips back, moaning softly as the smooth, vibrating metal ran along every inch of her inner walls, until finally the only part of the dildo still inside of her was its head.

The rodent gave Quackerjack a half lidded look, and licked her lips. She wasn't trying to be sexy, she was just thirsty. But at that moment, the gesture looked good, anyway.

The toymaker let out some giggles she held in, as the vibrations started out more as a tickle. But as they continued to shake off her vaginal walls, the laughter stopped as her breathing quickened. When Megavolt started to move, Quackerjack left out a soft moan. The shared toy had moved along with it. Noticing the rodent was barely hanging on to the dildo, just the head inside her, the duck and a delicious notion. Grinning evilly, she thrust herself downward, sending the toy back inside its hiding place.

The dildo once again plunged deep inside the rodent's slick hole, but this time at an angle that had the vibrating stimulation dragging along a rather sweet spot inside. Megavolt let out a startled yelp at the sudden flood of sexual stimulation the contact had caused to wash over her. What the heck had THAT been?

Megavolt let out a heavy breath she hadn't noticed she was holding, and started gasping for air for a moment. She caught Quackerjack smirking and giving her a look that took that confidence she'd been feeling down a few pegs. "What? I just wasn't ready..." Megavolt mumbled indignantly.

Positioning herself again, Megavolt didn't pause this time. It was her turn to do the thrusting, but Quackerjack had never been one to wait either, and she thrust back. It didn't take long before they had a rhythm going, the sounds of their panting and moaning and whimpering creating the perfect lovers' melody, the slick thrusting sounds an erotic backdrop. The device did its double-dildo job with double penetration, vaginal lips nearly touching in the center each time, rogue juices mixing with every new thrust.

Thrust, take, feel, rub. Thrust, take, feel, rub. Quackerjack felt herself grow deliriously giddy as her lover became louder and louder. "W-who…Who's vocal NOW? heh."

The duck was amused even more, when the rodent began to try and stifle her moans. This just made the toymistress thrust all the harder. And after every second that went by, Quackerjack could have SWORN the toy was getting more intense by the moment.

The sleek metal of the double dildo was heating up fast; both from the friction and from the small motor inside beginning to overheat from extended use, but that wasn't the only reason the device's performance was growing in intensity.

Megavolt's senses were quickly beginning to overload as something began building inside, but in the back of her fogged mind she noted that instead of the building pressure she was used to before a climax, it was more of an overpowering tingling heat churning faster and faster in her lower gut. One thing hadn't changed, however; the villain's electrical charge was reacting to the stimulation along with the rest of her, sending waves of excited static through the metal toy, and into her lover's own well-stimulated and slick cave.

Quackerjack felt her nails press deeply into her palms, as she wanted out Megavolt's name. yet again, feeling like she was riding on a sexual motorized merry-go-round. Feeling the tension in her gut build and build, she knew she too didn't have much longer until her cup of passion overflowed and spilled itself onto the warehouse floor.

The duck lost her record ONCE this night; she would not lose it again. Before Megavolt knew what was coming, the toymaker swiftly shifted to a sitting position. Her hands grabbed tightly onto her playmate's hips, closer towards the soft and smooth rodent rear. Her head rolled back, as she began to thrust the vibrating toy harder and harder into Megavolt.

It almost felt like the electrical rat was riding her lost slithering trouser snake once more, as their passions climbed. Quackerjack smiled, knowing that soon the rodent would submit. And yet another game would be won.

Game, set and match; the sudden change in angle and velocity sent that boiling mass of passion inside the rodent's loins over its peak, as the unexpected sensation caused Megavolt's breath to hitch in her throat. At that moment, every muscle in the rodent's lower body tightened and clenched, the worked vaginal walls clenching powerfully over the hot, thrusting tool, as if to devour it in its passion.

There was no holding back this moan, and Megavolt didn't even care by that point. "Nnuuuh!" came her unintelligible declaration, as not only her burning heat and slick lust-juices were expelled, but a rather powerful electrical discharge racing through the toy's metal workings, as well.

Voltage went rushing through the double dildo, and sending its way up powerfully into to duck's wet womanhood. Quackerjack's teeth clutched down hard, just barely biting her tongue in the process. Her juices feeling more like a conductor than usual, not only making the sensation very new to her…but also multiple times more powerful than a shock to the prostate. Quackerjack threw her neck forward, her bells smacking roughly onto the rodent's chest and torso, as her insides clutched violently. She let out a half moan and a half cry of pain as the duck orgasmed once more that night.

Not having any more support, the toymaker found herself falling back and pugnaciously hitting the cement floor. The warehouse seemed to echo with her thud.

They both just lied there, panting as they tried to catch their breaths.

The clenching from both women finally grew weaker and weaker as they rode out the rest of their orgasms, one of them drained and the other a bit sore, and both very satisfied. Soon after, their breathing returned to normal as well, and strength returned to the rest of them. But still they lied there for awhile, taking in what they'd just experienced, and listening to the only sound in the large abandoned warehouse; each other's soft breathing.

Megavolt was the first to notice that something was odd about that. She couldn't help but feel there should be another sound. She slowly sat up and looked around, before her gaze finally set upon the soaked dildo between her and Quackerjack. The once purple metal had gained a decidedly charred look, tinted a dark gray and even black in a few spots, as it lay there motionless. She sniffed loudly, and then sneezed as the light scent of smoke wafted in through her sinuses.

"Uhhh Quacky? Sorry about your... toy. I think it's broken."

"Hmm?"

Quackerjack had been too busy in her own world, a huge smile plastered on her bill. Still shining with an afterglow from their experience, the duck half liddedly looked down to her privates. Not seeing anything, she crept onto her elbows, using her arms to keep her up. It was then that her brain began to function, when she noticed that the vibrator had indeed not been functioning since their orgasms. Quackerjack looked Megavolt in the eyes. The rodent had expected some type of backlash, or whining that a beloved toy was destroyed because of the other criminal.

Instead, Megavolt was greeted with an uproar of laughter.

"BUHAHAHAhehehe! Haha, do you honestly think I care about THAT right now? Heh. I AM a toymaker, after all. I think I can make one bigger and badder. Hehe! Pheeeew-weee! Now THAT was something! Who knew girls felt all THAT in their chatterboxes? Heh."

Megavolt grinned in a goofy manner, relieved that the sexual experience had shoved the deceased toy's importance to the back burners, and nodded. "Yeah, I'll say! That was even better than..." she trailed off as she looked between their wet but organless thighs. While that had been pretty amazing, she couldn't help but miss being a he, and Megavolt knew for a fact that her companion felt the same way, perhaps to an even more urgent degree. Still...

She turned her gaze to their half-finished gender-changing invention sitting in the middle of the floor a few yards away, amongst the various tools scattered about. Megavolt gave a weak shrug, keeping her eyes on the hunk of machinery. "So, uh, you wanna, I dunno... take a few days break from working on that thing?"

It was Quackerjack's turn to look at the big contraption in the middle of the room, as she began her own inner struggle. Megavolt's own ponderings had, indeed, been right. On a whole, she felt very awkward and very uncomfortable in her new body. (Both experiences the duck wasn't used to feeling. She CAUSED discomfort, not lived it.) Everything was no new. From the way her clothes fit, to the way she had to move and carry herself, and so on. And the more childish and boyish side of her still couldn't help but think that the dreaded cootie virus could cause a plague (or something) at any moment! Their skin could dissolve and decay off, leaving them nothing but a rotten corpse that needed a pipe in order to have special playtime! OH THE HORROR!

And yet…

What they experienced had been new! Had been FUN! The sensations being much more powerful than what she had experienced as a demented drake. And their bodies seemed to be BUILT for extended amounts of play!

Speaking of playtime…

Quackerjack laughed as she sprung onto Megavolt once more, pinning her onto her back. Her sultry expression returned once more, as she uttered: "Weeeeelll….I think we can hold off for a while, yeeeees? Heh. I mean, we're KINDA scientists. Kinda-sorta-not-entirely-but-close-enough! And shouldn't we, ya know, test these bodies out some more? Purely for scientific purposes. Hehe!"

"Yeah…Ahehe! For science! Always been a fan of THAT special mistress."

"Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree, yeah? Heh."

"I can't deny that!"

With every frisky chattering going back and forth, the two criminals' lips came close and closer. Finally, in full agreement with no space left, bill and snout crashed in a frenzy. It seemed their night was still young, as they spent into sunrise testing out all the new ways to pleasure the female anatomy. Much fun was had, even if by the end it left them in a drained mess. As they drifted off into sleep, beanbag chairs soiled with sweat and female nectar, they finally felt some comfort over their situation. Maybe being a woman wouldn't be ALL bad, even if they weren't able to get their transgender machine to work.

Little did the criminally crazed duo know, that being a woman wasn't all fun and games. After a few days of play, they would be visited by a very special friend. The sort of relative that you can't get rid of until THEY are good and ready to leave.

Hello, ladies, meet Aunt Flow.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN (sorta) :

Quackerjack: You have an aunt named "Flow?" Or what, naming the plumping in the house too? Hehe!

Megavolt: She's not MY Aunt! My Aunt's name was Trudy. ... Or was that Tiffany? I think it started with a 'T' ...

Quackerjack: Wasn't Tiffany one of the toasters? It's hard to keep up when you're naming everything! Next I'm expecting the toilet to be "Marty", or something….Actually, heh, I kinda like that name! Oh Megsy, can we pleeeeease name the crapper "Marty?"

Megavolt: Well, he'd probably prefer 'Marty' over 'crapper', so why not. Which is more than I can say for this story. There isn't THIS much sap in Bushbrain's greenhouse!

Quackerjack: Now now, nothing wrong with sap. I like syrup on my pancakes! Mmmm. Naaah, the problem is the cooties. I think they're trying to rip our macho cards, Megster. :(

Megavolt: Tell me about it. Slap a couple of breasts on us and suddenly we're two teenage drama queens. Oh Quackerjack! Tell me about your FEELINGS while I paint your fingernails! Aheheh.

Quackerjack: Haha! Not until we braid our happy trails!….oh, wait, do girls DO that? I stopped noticing what they do after they have their girly pillow fights. Althooooough….Heh. I don't think they changed YOU that much. You DO sigh and run your fingers through my feathers every time I take my shirt off. Megsy…are you hiding something from me?

Mister Banana Brain: Did you used to be a girl, Cheryl?

Megavolt: Heey! WATCH it, 'Mr. I-prance-around-in-womens'-underwear' !

Quackerjack: Pfft! I do that because it hugs me better, not because I'm a girl. Plus, it's hard finding tighty whities with butterflies on them.

Megavolt: Oohh, because butterflies are sooo manly.

Quackerjack: My father was murdered by a monarch butterfly. :(

Megavolt: What? Murder doesn't equal manly! Bushroot is a proof of THAT. Just admit it; you're the girl here. You AND that fruity fruit of yours.

Quackerjack: You don't even care that my own daddy was murdered? How he went into a field of pansies, and was ripped to shreds by butterflies? How I had to watch helplessly and the fluttering pretty wings flapped, as they munched on the flesh of my father? OH Daddy! I'm sorry daddy! The butterfly net just couldn't catch them all! I triiiiied! I triiiiiied!

Megavolt: So now it was a whole field of monarch butterflies, huh? Megavolt isn't so easily fooled when I can just go back and READ the conversation instead of remembering it, huh? Thiiis conversation is OVER. I think we both know who won this round. ... ... ... Pssst, who won? Didja happen to catch the score?

Quackerjack: Hehe! You're fun! And the score was 69 to 2. I win! Better luck next time, buddy ol' pal! You played valiantly. But you are the weakest link, good bye!

Megavolt: What? There's no WAY you could've beaten me again! I think- I think you cheated! I demand a re-match!

Quackerjack: I'd looooove to have a rematch. But we're supposed to be talking about this story….want to just ditch it? Heh. I'm 99.988467 percent sure it's worse than that one speech Darkwing made us sit through. You know, the one on how cartoon violence effects on the munchkins. Snoooooresville!

Megavolt: ... Story? OH! Right! The story! Uhh... so, the three pigs came home to find the wolf had eaten their porridge, and uh... there was a lawsuit that had something to do with theft and breaking and entering, so then the, uh wolf... ate the pigs and everyone lived happily ever after. The end. Good night Folks.


	4. Women Troubles

WARNING: Mentioning of menstrual cycles. Just a warning, for those who get easily bothered by it.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

6 A.M. The sun was just beginning to rise over the city of Saint Canard. The light danced through the lingering night, trying to overpower it. This left a soft glow on the side of Megavolt's lighthouse. Since the two had given up on their transgender device, they had been doing nothing but having special playtime. Or, so it had felt at least. Both of the demented villains had been nothing but sore and tired.

However, this didn't seem to deter their activities. Heck, it had just been a couple of hours since their last go, when the two suddenly decided they just couldn't go on any longer. Seeing as this was the case, it really made the toymaker not want to leave the comfort of the bed. She was frustrated, however, when she had no choice. Nature was calling, and Quackerjack reeeeeally had to go pee. While it would have been hilarious to just stay in bed, and have her yellow fluids short circuit Megavolt, the duck really wasn't in the mood to be yelled at. So, with a groan, the mad madam got up and out of the warmth of the sheets, and made her way to the restroom.

Everything seemed to have been going well. Doing ones business wasn't as fun as a woman. While it involved less thinking and concentration, it also involved less fun. No pretending her penis was a lazer gun, as she aimed into the toilet. No, she just sat there, and practically fell asleep. "So tiiiiired."

Quackerjack's hand lazily traveled to the toilet paper roll, as she grabbed enough sheets to clean herself up. All tiredness quickly went away, as the duck jolted to attention. Her eyes greeted red.

"Huh. Well, isn't THAT a pretty color." Red wasn't a good sign. Red was bad. Bad. Bad. BAD! Red meant blood, moron. "Wait a minute…"

It finally sunk in, as panic took over. The toy mistress looked down, and saw the scarlet hue was also in her underwear. Hands traveled to private areas, and were swiftly pulled back. Red, wet, blood. This only meant one thing.

"I'M DYING!"

Quickly jumping up, pants still at her ankles, Quackerjack began to scurry out of the bathroom. She was crying and screaming in horror once more. Every other scream, she would call out to the woman in the other room.

"MEGSY! MEEEEGSY! MEGAAAAVOOOOO- OOF!" A large thud was heard as the demented duck face planted onto the floor.

Immediately Megavolt was jerked out of slumber and shot upright, eyes wide and fists clutching the light sheet they'd been covered with. The screaming she thought she'd heard had ceased, and her mind quickly made the assumption it had all been a dream. Her tense body relaxed some and she yawned, looking over at Quackerjack.

Her body went rigid again and brought with it a lump in her throat that might very well have been her heart.

Not only was Quackerjack not there, but there was a rather concerningly large puddle of blood on the bed where she should have been.

Megavolt began to hyperventilate, scanning the room in a panic. She saw no sign of her friend. Questions raced through her mind; who would want Quackerjack dead? ... Other than nearly everyone in St. Canard.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard whimpering and sobbing coming from the living room.

At that moment, the plan was to throw the sheets off of herself, and this is when she became very aware of how they clung to her legs in a rather uncomfortable, wet and sticky sort of way. She braced herself and glanced down at herself, only to find the sheet drenched in a dark red. She began hyperventilating again and the room began to spin. Megavolt had always felt queasy whenever he saw blood. That's why he preferred the electrocution execution rout; much less mess. The realization that it was likely Quackerjack's blood she was covered in made it much worse.

The soiled sheets were gingerly peeled off of the women's legs and she sprang out of bed, running toward the living room, trying her best to ignore the wet stickiness she still felt on her legs.

"Quackerjack! Where are you! Where-oh" the demented rodent skidded across the bare floor in her socks and almost toppled over as she stopped abruptly after seeing Quackerjack lying on the floor in front of the bathroom door. She made her way in that direction as quickly as she could, kneeling down by her friend's side in mere seconds. "Quacky... Quacky, are you- .. can you hear me? What happened? Who DID this! Where is it coming from?"

The rodent's barrage of questions was met with no reply, but the duck did look up at her with an expression that was more frightened than in pain. Megavolt remained in a worried sick panic, just the same.

"I…I think us screwing each other more than lamps and light bulbs made my vajayjay sad. It's crying blood! Ooooh, Megsy! I think I'm dying!"

This seemed to bring Quackerjack into a bigger crying fit, as she grabbed onto the rodent's thighs. Her jester hat smashed into Megavolt's crotch area, as it got more of the red gooey mess all over her. It was odd, she always figured dying hurt more. Sure, she was sore. And yes, her face hurt from where it hit the ground. But the actual wounded area felt….Fine.

Megavolt gazed down at her friend with a mixture of disgust, worry and confusion. "Your vagina? Crying... blood...?" this rang some sort of bell in the very back of the rodent's fried mind, but she couldn't quite remember why. Just then there came a voice that only Megavolt could hear... or thought she could hear, anyway. She spun around to face the refrigerator across the room.

" Ey, what're you, some kinda moron or somethin? Listen, yous ain't dyin, a'right? All chicks bleed a little every month, it's natural. So quit your cryin' and get your act togetha already; you're gettin chick blood all ova the floor, it's disgustin'. Gonna be sick ova' here."

Megavolt stared dumbly at the appliance for awhile before the message sank in. Suddenly her face lit up with realization. "Of course!" she exclaimed, slapping her forehead and turning back to Quacky. "Aheh! How could I have forgotten? We're not dying! Women DO bleed every month! It's completely NATURAL and-" she studied the sickening red smear marks on her friend's face that she suddenly realized had come from her own nether regions. "- and completely disgustingohIthinkingI'mgonnabesick-" she let out another sick belch before continuing. "Quackerjack... this isn't fun anymore... THIS IS HORRIBLE!"

The duck sniffled, as she began to get herself up. "I knoooow! I don't wanna be a stinking girl anymore! I want to stop sitting down to pee, I wanna stop having a tumor chest, I wanna stop bleeding, and I miss my slinky! Megs…I don't think we can do this alone anymore. It could take us YEARS to finish building our machine. A year means at least twelve months of like seven days….That's at least eighty-four days of crying kittens! Think of all the pints of blood we'll lose! We'll shrivel up, or something!"

Quackerjack finally got to her feet, her underwear still down at her ankles, as she tugged on her hat from distress. The ends jingled violently. The toymaker pouted as she pulled up her panties. "Megs…I think we'll need to go to HIM."

The rodent was still tying to figure out what was so different about sitting down to pee, when the jester's last statement caught her off guard. She gasped. "No! Not HIM! Anyone but HIM! Are you MAD?... ... ... Uh, who is him, again?"

The toymaker facepalmed, before giggling again. "Heh, just get dressed and cleaned up. We're gonna go 'shopping' to get HIS attention. Hehe! Mister Fuddy Duddy, here we come!"

~0~0~0~

By eight o'clock that morning, the streets of St. Canard were already in a panic, as 'two new villainesses' wreaked havoc on their little shopping spree, and the city's protector, Darkwing Duck, was none too happy to have been woken up to deal with them, his last patrolling shift had ended just a few hours ago. The one good thing about this, he thought to himself, was that at this hour, Gosalyn was at school and Launchpad was still in bed.

The crime fighter downed the rest of his StarDucks coffee and tossed the styrofoam cup into a nearby garbage bin, before inching up to the front of the store currently being robbed; a fancy shoe-and-clothing store. "Sheesh... criminals will steal anything these days..." he mumbled to himself.

Tossing one of his blue smoke bombs through the open door way (it wasn't only open, but it had been blown off of its hinges and was currently nowhere in sight), and leaped into the center of it as soon as the fog was decidedly thick enough.

"I, am the terror, that FLAPS in the night! I, am that pair of shoes that you want, but doesn't come in your size! I, am Darkwing Duck!"

As the smoke cleared, Darkwing looked around the small store... and saw nothing out of the ordinary. A few startled shoppers, and the cashier looked obviously startled, but the could have easily been due to his stunning entrance. "Well, this is certainly odd, I could have sworn..." as he made his way farther into the store, all eyes were on him. He spotted a particularly attractive woman and sauntered over to her. He figured it was as good a place as any to start looking for clues.

The woman in question was at least a foot taller than he was, but he didn't let that damper his suave act any. True, the clothing rack he'd leaned up against crashing to the floor, him along with it, had dampened it some, but he recovered quickly, dusting himself off and righting the now-crooked rack.

He gave a cheesy grin to the woman, who took a few steps back. The poor woman looked absolutely horrified, as if she thought HE was a villain! How odd, indeed. Perhaps it was Negaduck causing problems again... trying to ruin HIS reputation! He'd get to the bottom of this, alright.

"Pardon me, miss, I couldn't help but notice... you..." Darkwing found his gaze was having difficulties staying on the woman's face; her rack was much more fascinating than the one he had just destroyed. He shook his head and mentally scolded himself for letting his mind wander; he was a crime fighter, for Pete's sake! "You... looking rather frightened, aheh heh. Well, fear not, citizen! Darkwing Duck is here!"

By this time, the woman not only looked horrified, but confused as well. She back up another five steps. Megavolt shuddered and grimaced. She hadn't liked the way Darkwing had been eying her that way."Whoa, whoa, whoa... are you FLIRTING with me?"

Darkwing just stared back for awhile. He'd never seen a woman shoot down a guy's flirting so gracelessly. Wait, he had NOT been flirting! ... Had he? "What? No! Darkwing Duck flirts with no one! Well... maybe Morgana, but- never mind!" Now the crime fighter was both humiliated and frustrated. He was about to change the subject by asking if the woman had seen anything out of the ordinary, when something quite out of the ordinary happened.

The curtain to the dressing room only a few feet away from where he woman had stopped backing up swooshed open, and out came another woman... in a rather revealing purple dress. The unusual part about this was that this woman was wearing a rather familiar mask... and had a rather familiar overbite. "Whaddya think, Megsy? Does it make my butt look big?" the woman giggled manically, swirling around to give her gal pal the full 160 view.

Darkwing gaped. "Quackerjack?" he eyed the women he'd been ogling over earlier. The rodent woman... with the suspiciously mismatched eyes. "Megsy- er, Megavolt?" he suddenly felt a little ill. He pulled at the collar of his sweater. "Oh boy... this is NOT my day..."

He again recovered quickly, taking a ready stance, and pointing his gun at the two burglars. "Okay, you two suck ga- ... what the heck HAPPENED to you guys, anyway?" he lowered his gun slightly.

The female duck instinctively flinched, having had her airway attacked by the gas gun on more than one occasion. Quackerjack quickly shrugged it off, as she put her hands on her hips.

"Well well well, LOOK who finally decided to show up! We've been waiting for you for like forever! Ya know, originally we were just destroying stuff to get your attention….Buuuut, heh, I got bored. And I saw this dress, and I couldn't help myself! Hehe! Purple IS my favorite color, after all!"

The crazed criminal stopped her ramblings as she looked at the vigilante's face. Her smile widened, as she saw his confusion grow. "As for us, weeeeeell…That's why we were TRYING to get your attention!"

The gas gun was lowered completely now, as the Masked Mallard glared at the two maniacs in front of him. "You were TRYING to get my attention?" Darkwing yelled. He was starting to wonder if calling these two 'demented' was allowing too much credit. Why would two of St. Canard's most wanted criminals be seeking him out? They should be busy failing to avoid him! Unless...

Darkwing's mood changed suddenly. "Yep yep yep. You two have only been women for a week, and already you're drawn to my irresistible charms." the caped crime fighter's ego was eating this up, but there was still a bowling ball in the pit of his stomach at the thought of Megavolt and Quackerjack having the hots for him. That was, until they both visibly recoiled at the suggestion. Megavolt sneered.

"Would you STOP with the flirting already? You're giving me the willies, buuh!" the rodent rubbed her arms and shuddered to further prove her point. Anger and embarrassment boiled inside of the crime fighter until it exploded in the form of more yelling.

"I was NOT flirting! Get over yourselves... besides! I have a very lovely girlfriend, and she's more women than you two trashy tramps will ever be."

"You were too flirting! And- waaiiit, how did YOU know we've been women for a week?" Megavolt shot back. It had actually been a little over a week, but his accuracy had still been unnerving. Darkwing merely rolled his eyes.

"Because, I just SAW you guys a week ago!" he spat. Megavolt recoiled in surprise, a look of pure confusion coming over her face.

"... You did? Huh... were you the women we saw in the graveyard, then?"

Darkwing face-palmed and growled. Talking to Megavolt was like trying to talk to... well, Megavolt. He turned his attention to Quackerjack, who had been watching their argument in between fussing with the belt on her dress. "Can YOU tell me what's going on... PLEASE?" it was obvious the masked mallard was already beginning to lose his temper. Oh what he would give for another cup of coffee and a few more hours sleep at that moment.

"Do ya want the short version, or the long version?"

"So I won't be here all day….Short."

"We woke up this way! Heh."

The crime fighter slapped his forehead as he rolled his eyes. Darkwing sighed. "I think I'm going to need a little more than THAT! Oy! Fine. Give me the long version then."

And so the demented duck did. Quackerjack started all the way back to her childhood, when she was born a he. When Darkwing yelled at her again, the toymaker giggled madly before going back to the day a week or so prior. She told how they decided on the state fair for their night out, to when the masked mallard showed up. (Darkwing's ego inflating once more as he was retold his heroics.) Finally, it got to events that happened after the daring duck saw the criminal duo last. His eyes widen as he realized they had ran into a certain magical mistress. He groaned as he heard how they ticked off his girlfriend, which had explained why she was so peeved for days after their disaster of a date. The hero had put two and two together by the time Quackerjack go to the end of her story.

"Then after the weird lady sprayed us with nasty perfume, we went home and had special playtime aaaaaaall night looooong! Heh. Oh boy, you shoulda been there for this trick Megsy did. It was where he-"

Two things happened at that moment; Megavolt was beside Quackerjack in a flash, both hands trying to cover the toy mistress' bill, and Darkwing's gas gun was quickly raised again. "Will you shut UP?" Megavolt hissed, her face burning a bright red by this point. Darkwing glared.

"One more word of that and I swear I'll pull this trigger."

After Darkwing had established that Quackerjack was too busy laughing at all of the general discomfort she had caused, he lowered his gun and cleared his throat. "I SHOULD just cuff and collar you two right no-" he saw the look both criminals were giving him and decided to re-word his statement. "I MEAN, I SHOULD just throw you two in prison right now! Buut I'm feeling uncharacteristically lenient at the moment, sooo..." the truth was, he just wasn't sure which prison he was supposed to send them to. Maybe he'd tell them to go see Morgana, follow them without them noticing, have her change them back, and then bam! The second they leave, give 'em the 'ol one-two and cart them off to prison. It was perfect!

"Now, my ingenious deducing has led me to believe this this was no ORDINARY transformation!" Both Megavolt and Quackerjack have him 'no duh' looks. He ignored them. "It was done... with MAGIC!" both criminals gasped over-dramatically. "Magic that was cast by none other than St. Canard's residential gorgeous ghoul; Morgana Macawber! And it sounds as if you two have a LOT of apologizing to do."

"Ooooh, so your cootie ridden girlfriend did this to us. Heh…that explains the gibberish she was saying. And HERE I just thought she was a Harry Otter fan…Or having a really bad seizure. Hehe!"

The duck's laughter was cut short, however, when she changed gears. "Waaaaaait, WE have to apologize? SHE was the one who neutered us! If I wasn't crazy before all this, THAT traumatizing experience alone would have sent me bonkers!"

Darkwing scoffed. "Please, Chuckles; if anything she did you a FAVOR. If you ask me, BOTH of you were overdue for a good 'ol neutering." The caped crusader inwardly shuddered as unwanted images of the last few times he had to interrupt their 'public fornication/public indecency' trysts flashed through his mind.

"Now, either you two take a trip to apologize to Morgana..." The gun was raised, once again. "Or you take a trip to the St. Canard penitentiary. YOUR call." he smirked before adding "I'm SURE Bubba would just LOVE to see how much you've GROWN, Megsy."

Megavolt's blood ran cold and she grabbed Quackerjack by the arm. "Uuh, Quacky? He's right. I think we should apologize."

"Okay. OKAY! Fiiine, we'll apologize. But only because I'm tired of my vajayjay crying red. To the wicked witch's house we gooooo!"

Quackerjack grabbed megavolt's hand and turned around. The duck started marching towards the door, as if the two ladies were off to fight an evil dragon. The two made it about two feet before they stopped in their tracks. The toymaker looked over her shoulder.

"Heh. Where does she live, again?"

~0~0~0~

Thirty minutes away, at the Macawber Mansion, the beautiful monster of the house was sleeping peacefully. All the curtains were closed, to prevent any light from disturbing the calming blackness. Morgana had just gone to sleep a couple of hours prior; the witch was more nocturnal by nature. She had a good busy night with her restaurant, and sleep was well deserved for all the hundreds she cooked for that evening. She had been beyond tired when she finally crawled under the covers to sleep.

That was why she was not pleased, in the slightest, when her screaming doorbell woke her up. Hair curlers in her long ebony locks, the witch groan as she saw what time it was."Ooooooh, who could be disturbing me at such an hour! Don't they know a woman needs her beauty sleep?" Eek, Squeak, and Archie said nothing, as they continued to snore in their slumber.

Mumbling to herself, Morgana floated down her stairs and to her front door. She squinted her eyes tightly as she opened the door, to the point she couldn't see a thing. The witch yawned.

"May I help you?"

Darkwing hadn't planned on coming along; at least, he hadn't planned on anyone knowing he was coming along, but the two criminals really had no idea where Morgana lived, so it was inevitable. He immediately regretted this decision when the door was opened and he saw Morgana in her curlers, and the hour dawned on him. The only thing worse than dealing with a ticked-off girlfriend, was a sleep deprived, ticked-off girlfriend.

He gulped and put on his best fake grin.

"Ah heh heh, good morning, Morgana, my sweet angel of the night...I'm sorry to disturb you at such a late-er, early hour, but uhhh..." he quickly stepped back and roughly shoved Quackerjack and Megavolt ahead of him and toward Morgana. "THESE two have something to tell you."

"Wooooah! Who hit YOU with an ugly stick?"

Morgana's eyes instantly popped open at the insult. She glared, as she seemed to recognize the two a lot quicker than the masked mallard had. The witch put her hands on her hips in agitation.

"Hmph! If it isn't you two trouble makers. You haven't learned any manners since the last time we've met, I see." Her gaze went to her boyfriend's. "Dark, darling, why did you bring them here? If I wanted more insults and slander, I would have gone to them myself."

Darkwing began to grit his teeth upon hearing Quackerjack insult Morgana like that, and tried his best to keep his calm. "I brought them here for an APOLOGY." he managed to get out from behind clenched teeth. He jabbed the barrel of his gas gun into the duck's back. "Now start apologizing!"

However, it was Megavolt who decided to speak up first. "WE'RE SORRY!" she blurted, falling to her knees and grabbing the bottom of the witch's long gown in both fists. "Those things we said were really, uh... mean! And uh... we promise not to do it again- JUST PLEASE, CHANGE US BAA-AACK!"

Morgana was startled when the rodent had grabbed her so suddenly. She looked down at the crying criminal in awe. The beautiful Macawber woman then looked back up at the demented female duck. "Well…I suppose I DID go a bit far, didn't I? ….do you guys REALLY mean it? You're sorry?"

It was Quackerjack's turn to throw herself at the magical being's feet."Yes! Yes! YEEEES! It's been AWFUL! (Well, except for the sex. Heh. That was pretty neat.) We never knew how HARD it was being a girl. We're sorry. REALLY really sorry. I miss my wingy-doodle!"

The last part of the conversation brought Quacky to tears. While Darkwing seemed horrified, Morgana couldn't help but crack a small smile from amusement. She patted both the inexperienced females on the head, to comfort them.  
>"There there, that's all I wanted to hear. Apology accepted. I'll be more than happy to change you back."<p>

With a snap of her fingers, another puff of smoke formed around the two. Purple and blue gases twisted and turned, and entered their lungs. It got so bad, that the demented duo were having trouble breathing. The two continued to choke and cough, as the smoke dissipated. As it began to clear, it was clear to see that there were two MALES kneeling at the witch's feet.

Quackerjack spoke up as he raised a brow. "Wait, no spooky words this time?"

"Oh no, don't be silly. They didn't MEAN anything. It was just for dramatic effect."

Both criminals got to their feet and inspected them selves quickly, before throwing their arms around each other and rejoicing in a rather loud and overly dramatic manner. The hug didn't last long, however, before Megavolt had to catch his pants from falling down, now that he didn't have the hips to hold them up anymore. The skimpy purple dress didn't fit Quackerjack quite as nicely as it had just moments before, but the rodent found himself hoping the duck got to keep it, nonetheless.

Megavolt turned to Morgana and held out a hand in a friendly gesture. "Hey, thanks a bunch, pal! I don't think I could have stood another second as a whiny, weeping woman."

"TELL me about it! I swear I almost got whiplash from all the mood swings. One minute I'm as gay as a lark, heh, and the next…I'm bawing in the corner because I broke a nail. If I was a chick any longer, my residence would have said 'kitchen.' Hehehahaha!"

"Aheheheh! And I was getting tired of waiting for mySELF to go ready to leave today! What is WITH women and taking HOURS to make their hair look exactly the same as it did when they started?"

"Truuuuue. But ya know what, it could have been worse…At least WE never woke up looking like THAT!" Quackerjack had pointed towards Morgana, who had been twitching more and more violently after every comment. Finally, Megavolt dropped her hand as both he and the toymaker practically fell to the floor from mirth. Their mocking laughter was the last straw, as the witch's eyes blazed once more.

"Ooooh! You guys didn't learn ANYTHING! I'll teach you a lesson you'll NEVER FORGET!"

Insane laughter turned to startled yelps and screams as Morgana chased the two criminals, zapping both of them with rather painful bolts of magic. Darkwing watched as she chased them out of sight, and shook his head with a satisfied grin on his face. "Nuh-uh-uh. Those two have a LOT to learn about talking to women..."

The caped crusader hummed to himself as he made his way over to his Ratcatcher, a little bounce in his step. He listened to the fading cries of pain and terror and decided Morgana's wrath was worse than any visit to prison. The motorcycle's engine roared to life, and Darkwing took off in the opposite direction, toward home.

END

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN:

Snark: Wifey! Wiiiifey! Moonie Moonie Moonie! ….Guess what?

Moonie: You're finally ready to admit Jello isn't food?

Snark: ….I'll rot in hell before THAT day comes. Nooooo, wifey….We're free! We're finally done with this story!

Moonie: Ohhh, right. Just as good! Whoo! But boy was that last chapter an icky one.

Snark: Last chapter as in the lesbian porn? Or last chapter as in period juice all over Quackerjack's face?

Moonie: ... Yeah, that second one. I hope those stains come out of his hat. Although a blood-stained hat might make him look more badass.

Snark: At least he would have looked more badass, if it weren't for the purple dress. Siiiigh…I'm gonna miss Megavolt's boobs.

Moonie: I think Megavolt is going to miss Megavolt's boobs, too. But maybe not the left one.

Snark: We shall weep for the loss together. Buuuut, look on the bright side…His happy trail is back! Ooooh, pubic hair that went to his belly, how I missed you!

Moonie: I'd rather not think about that right before bed, thanks. I have enough nightmares in a night.

Snark: You're mean. First you insult Doofenshmirtz's sex appeal, and now Megs'? what, did you get hit by the grumpy bus, or something? Because if you did….you might want to go to the doctors. You might have broken some bones, or gotten a concussion!

Moonie: ... Snarkieboo, is it that same power that allows you to see the sex appeal of old, scrawny men, that lets you see that rare bisexual unicorn? Cause I think that might be why I keep missing it...

Snark: Naaah, you just have to reaaally really reeeeeally want to see a bisexual unicorn. When you want it bad enough…they will come.

Moonie: Perhaps I'll dream of them tonight. Good night folks.

Snark: No, it won't be a good night because you kept showing me pictures of a guy covered in his own shit. I'm seriously sick right now...You're sleeping on the couch tonight. Night folks, we got some lesbian arguing to do.


End file.
